Empowering Your Food Allergic Child

I get asked these questions a lot from strangers to friends. How are you teaching you 4 year old son about his allergies? When did you start teaching him? How can I tell my child about their allergies without scaring them? Then a long conversation happens because the answer isn't that simple. Some are happy to hear it, others regret asking the question. Educating your child on his or her challenges can give them control over it. It will empower them.

Starting the FA conversation with your toddler child.

Age has a lot to do with how you approach your child. My son was 14 months old when he had his 1st reaction. Not an easy age to talk to them. You can't just say "don't eat peanuts they can make you sick or kill you".  You can't just go to a party and let them move about and snack on all the food that is at their disposal. You end up being that dreaded helicopter parent. Not fun for anyone, but it's what you do.

What we did at this young age was to reinforce asking mom or dad only for food. Don't take food from anyone but person A, B, or C... When in the supper market (or any where we saw the offending foods), we would point out peanuts and nuts and say YUCKY, DANGER. If we saw a certain candy commercial we would say the same thing. He also had some books that had pictures of peanuts and nuts in them. Again we would say YUCKY, DANGER. We were using images to teach. This wasn't a plan, it's just what we did naturally.

Age 2
At around age 2 is when we started using car rides to talk about it. On our way to a party or play date we would tell him the food rules. That even though we may not see the peanuts or nuts they could still be in the food. We bought him his medic alert bracelet and had him start to wear it. We started using the words safe and not safe quite a bit!

The Preschool Years (which we are still in)

Age 3
When he turned 3 we started talking about getting sick and having to go to a hospital if he ate the wrong thing. That he would have to get a shot that mommy or daddy would have to give him. Now instead of telling him the food rules he had to tell us on the way to a party. When we met other kids with allergies we would excitedly say, "guess who else can't eat peanuts!"

If we went to someone house who made sure the food was safe for him we made sure (and still do),  to have him tell the host thank you for making or having safe snacks.

At school we had a great system worked out. Before we would go into his classroom we would go (and still do), and check to see if the snack was safe together. He would see me check, and then I would tell him if it was OK on not. If I remembered I would have him tell the teacher if he could eat it or not. Sometimes I forgot and told her myself. If was unsafe we had snacks stashed with the teacher. We also always brought his treat for parties and such. Whether at school or at a party. This was and is his normal. It doesn't even phase him.

We also started talking about his EpiPen. We showed it (the trainer) to him and told him it had to go everywhere with him. We just left it at that at the time.

Age 4
Just before he turned 4, we went to a close friends party. As usual she made the whole thing safe for him even though she doesn't have to (thank God for friends like this). They had a pinata with all safe candy for him. The kids broke the thing and candy was everywhere. He collected his stash and started to look thought. He came running to me with a box of Jr. Mints in hand, yelling "MOM these have peanuts! You said the candy was safe!" Turns out there was a no peanut symbol on the box. He saw the peanut but didn't know the red circle with the line through it meant no.

At that moment I knew what we spent the last 2 years teaching him sunk in. It was a sad and happy moment. Happy because he learned. Sad because now he understand his life can end with just one bite of the wrong thing.

About 6 moths after that party we headed back into the city for another food challenge. He had passed his first challenge to cashews, so we were pretty confidant he would pass this one for walnuts and pecans. This was not the case. Two minutes after his 1st bite of walnut he started to have a reaction (to read all about this food challenge click here to find the post and details of that bad day). While it was not the outcome we had hoped for, we again learned that what we were teaching him had sunk in! He did everything he had been told to do.

Up until that point he really didn't know what it felt like to eat something that could hurt him. We were always afraid he wouldn't recognize it. That no matter what we told him, he wouldn't truly understand an allergic reaction.  Well he did, right from the start! He didn't need time to process what the feeling was. He knew what it was, and knew what to do.

Now at 4.5  we have switched over to the new Auvi-Q epinephrine injector.  We love it because of the audible directions its gives while having to use it and it's size. Our son loves it as well. We showed it (the trainer), to him and he is not afraid of it any more. It's smaller and easy to use. He is now the one who trains everyone how to use it. Yes my 4.5 year old trains the adults how to use it! He is also in charge of handing it over to the adult who will be taking care of him if he is getting dropped off (with us standing right there of course). He does not carry it on him, but we give it to him at the door to give to an adult.

So back to the title of this post, Empowering Your Food Allergic Child. How we empower our son is to educate him. The more he understands the more control he has. He is learning how to ask questions about his food. How to say no thank you to food offers. He knows what will help him in an emergency. He needs to be confident and informed. He needs to be able to stand up for and advocate for himself if we're not there, because lets face it we can't be there 24/7 for his whole life.

He needs to know these things and guess what, he knows! At lease he is starting to  really get a handle on it.  So don't be afraid that you will scare your child too much. A little fear is good but understanding is better.  You know your child better than anyone. You know what they can handle and not handle. Just don't underestimate the power your words have and how much they hear. That is you best weapon against food allergies.

Since we are still in preschool, I can't weight in on what to do with older children. Nicole Smith of Allergic Child is who I look to for that! I will have to wade through like so many parents that have gone before me. All I can say is I will always educate him, I will always advocate for him, I will do what I can to make him ready and able to handle what comes his way. I'm the mom, it's my job.

Empowering Your Food Allergic Child

Food Challenge Meltdown

I know many of you were following our food challenge last week on Facebook and Twitter. I want to thank you all for you kind, supportive words and prayers. If you weren't following lets just say, it didn't go so well.

This was our second food challenge. We went for our first one last fall (when I was on hiatus from here). It was for cashews. I was a nervous wreck the night before for many reasons. For years we have been telling our son do not eats nuts! Now we had to tell him eat these nuts. Needless to say it took two weeks prior to the test to convince him to do the challenge. Since I didn't think he would eat them, I made cookies with cashews in them after he went to bed. I was terrified the fumes from them cooking would make him have a reaction. I must of went into his room 20 times to check on him. We went in early to do the challenge. He ate the cashews plain while I wanted to throw up. And NOTHING! He loved them and is not allergic!

Cut to last Thursday. We were going in to challenge walnuts and pecans. Since the first challenge went so well. I was so calm (too calm). I slept well and everything. I didn't get nervous until he had to eat the walnut. He ate a piece smaller than a jelly bean, and announced he wasn't allergic with this big grin on his sweet face. We all laughed and I took a breath since I was holding it.

About 2 or 3 minutes (yes that fast), my son turned to us and said his mouth felt funny, like oatmeal. I couldn't understand what he meant by oatmeal. Then a few seconds later he said his tummy hurt and started clawing at the neck of his shirt. Then his fear set in. The terror in his eyes was too much for  me to see. He started panicking and the nurse and Dr. were there in a flash. The more questions we asked the more he panicked. His top lip started to swell a little. It was barley noticeable, but the Dr. and I saw it.  Food challenge over only minutes after we started. 

Benadryl to the rescue! Once we told him he was going to get medicine he started to calm down even before he took it. We were lucky that he didn't need epinephrine. The Benadryl took care of it. He did get a little lethargic but nothing that worried anyone too much. We had to stay for 3 more hours to make sure he was OK. 

Once I knew he was OK, I had to leave the room to catch my breath and let a few tears spill. The minute he said his mouth felt funny I wanted to throw up. That feeling didn't go away until the next day. A four year should never have to feel that fear, and a parent should never have to see it. He knew it was bad and saw it in my eyes as well. 

However there is a positive to this story! We've spent years talking to him about his allergies. As he gets older we get a little more detailed but noting too heavy yet. He's only four. The moment he felt something different he knew to tell us. He knew something was wrong. He recognized what we had been telling him for years. He did what he was taught. As a parent I'm so proud of my little man. Of all the things I could fail at, this wasn't it. We are doing the right thing. Teaching him one of the most import lessons in his young life. We did our job as his parents, and it feels good.

After we got the all clear getting ready for some pizza!

Do not attempt to do a food challenge at home without consulting a Dr. This was a medically supervised food challenge in a medical facility.

Food Challenge Meltdown

More than I can chew...

Today's post isn't focused on food allergies. It's more of a mom/parent purging for me. I'm just trying to figure some things out. Like most moms (and dad's, or guardian's),  I have become completely overwhelmed by daily life. There really aren't enough waking hours to get it all done. I use to be a very organized person, and on time for everything. Add kids to the mix and it's all out the window!

I have friends who became more organized when they had kids. Both my working mom friends, and stay at home mom friends, seem to have it all together. They enjoy their kids (not that I don't enjoy mine, I just think they don't enjoy stressed out mom right now). I know I don't see into their homes at the crazy moments,  I know they are not perfect, but they seem more calm about it all.  Do they dread the production it takes just to get everyone into the car to go out? For me that's a food allergy related anxiety. Do I have enough food, will he get upset this time? We all talk about how hard it is, to be a parent and find balance as an individual, a wife and friend.

Last night as I was working on some of the details for the baby's 1st birthday party (can you believe he's going to be one next month), I was thinking, that this last year has been crazy! My hubby got promoted, two weeks later I had a second child, one week later a hurricane hit and his paternity leave got screwed up. Then my oldest who has the peanut & tree nut allergy, started his first year of preschool (where we have to volunteer). I went back to work part time, started a portrait photography business, and recently signed an agreement to do some stock photography. Let us not forget, this blog and another blog for a local support group I co-founded.

So that's one husband, 2 kids, 3 blogs, 1 website, a part time job, a new business and a support group. Oh and hubby's schedule is so erratic! We honestly can't plan anything, baby sitters or weekend trips till 2 days before the week starts! It's driving our friends and family crazy along with me. I hate saying, "I won't know till.." every time we are asked to do something.  I honestly think, people think we don't want to see them. It's the total opposite! I miss everyone terribly.

I think I had posted on Facebook, that I sent my oldest to a play date with a snack that wasn't 100% safe! Thank goodness for a great friend and mom,  who checked my snack anyway.  Where is my head that I can do something like that? How do I get organized with all this? What kind of balance can I achieve to be happy? Is it time to give something up? Do I give this up?

I think we can all agree I'm not the best blogger on the block. In fact, I suck at staying current and relevant. I don't post as often as I would like. BUT I really don't want to give this up. I love interacting with the FA community. Making someone feel that they are not alone, and that there is someone who understands. You all have helped me so may times I can't count. When I feel like others are looking at me like I'm nuts, I can come here or on my Facebook page and know you don't think I am!

I think this is all coming out as a result of two in a half weeks of nothing but bad. Between hubby's job, and the kids getting coxsakie/hand foot and mouth, it's all come to a head. I'm an anxious person to begin with, but my levels are pretty high right now.  I don't want to give up any of it. I finally found my way back to photography (heck it's what I have my masters in), and it has been my main focus, but so many other things are suffering because of it. Even though I'm focused on it, I need to dedicate more time to it.  But where's the time?

I guess it's time to take a serious look at all, that is my life. I don't want to be a quitter, I want to do it all! You know super mom who just isn't a mom lol. I know my hubby is worried about me, and that we "need to talk". Don't you hate that phrase? I probably will never figure it out, but I'm going to try. Any advise or ideas how to get it together are welcome!

Thanks for once again listening to me ramble!

More than I can chew...

Thank You Cake Break!

We've been back a week now from our wonderful family vacation in Lewes, DE. It was such an amazing experience going away as a family of 4 for the first time. We decided a while ago that in order for us to go away we need to rent a space that had a kitchen. Not just to save money, but to save our sanity and keep stress at a minimum. Feeding your food allergic child while on vacation is a challenge, especially if you eat out for every meal. I would be exhausted by day 2, and DONE by day 3. The stress would ruin it.

With that said, we rented a house on the beach, and only ate out twice. If you find yourself in Lewse DE, these 2 establishments: Mr. P's and Jerry's Seafood, were so nice and accommodating, plus the food was great.  However the day we went into Rehoboth we faced our big first food challenge while on vacation.

 ©Diane French Photography                    

We had planed to spend the afternoon at the boardwalk and eat there. The first thing we noticed was that many of the concessions and restaurants cook their food with peanut oil. It was clearly stated on their signs as an advertisement. For us it was a waring and blessing. Even the one pizza place we went into used peanut oil. Now I'm sure there are many safe place to eat in Rehoboth that don't use peanut oil, as we didn't go into every establishment (there are a ton of places to eat there).  By the 4th or 5th one we tried without success, we were done.

Disappointed, we headed back to Lewes to eat as my son was starving. We found Mr. P's and all was good again. But it got me thinking, what if we had only rented a hotel room in Rehoboth like most families do? We would of been so stressed.

We got back to the house, and I posted on facebook about how bummed I was for my little man. Then, just like that, one you you replied (I won't post your name in case you don't want it here), to my post that there was a nut free bakery in Rehoboth! I looked them up and called the next morning. It was true, Cake Break in Rehoboth was peanut and tree nut free. They also had gluten free items as well.

It sounds crazy but I got a little emotional at the news. See we had already told our son we couldn't go to the ice cream place, that he couldn't eat the pop corn, or the fudge he saw others eating on the boardwalk. Pretty heart breaking for us. But as usual he was OK and would say, "I'll have some back at our beach house mommy".

Two day's later it was my husbands birthday. I had planned on baking cupcakes at the house, but now I didn't have to! We told our son about the bakery, and he was super excited to pick out a special birthday cupcake for his dad. So instead of lunch that day, we had cupcakes, sticky buns and cinnamon rolls. Delicious doesn't even begin to describe it. Needless to say he was a happy boy.

All photographs ©Diane French Photography

This pace was awesome. They even had a cupcake decorating area for the kids, some stools and chairs inside as well as out. When I asked the owner why a nut free bakery he had the best answer. He told me the day they opened there was  little boy screaming and crying because he couldn't go in and have a cupcake. That's all it took. Amazing right?

All photographs ©Diane French Photography 

So if you find yourself in the Rehoboth, DE area with a nut, peanut, or gluten, allergy, eat vegan, or just like sweets. Check out Cake Break! You won't be disappointed and you will be giving your business to people who care. They made our vacation that much better! And for a mom with a child with a life threatening food allergy that is a big deal.

Like the photos you see? Check out my photo blog and website at www.dianefrenchphoto.com

Thank You Cake Break!

Year Two of Living with Food Allergies.

I'm reflecting on another year gone by living with food allergies. On April 22 it will be 2 years of anxiety, fears and firsts. We learned a lot this last year. We have amazing family, friends and teachers who really look out for our little man. Even some of the parents at his school go out of their way to include him. For most, his allergy has become 2nd nature to them. We have had no new incidents involving his allergies, and he has outgrown most of his nut allergies. I believe we will be doing a food challenge with cashews this year. Lucky doesn't even describe how I feel. To read our story how we found out about our son's peanut allergy check out this post from last year.

As he is now 3, he is starting to understand more. He reminds us when dropping him at school that we need to check the snack. He asks if he can have whatever it is. When we tell him no, it's never been a problem. Even when it's cupcakes that the teacher didn't know were coming to class. I'm so proud of him. He never complains about being left out, or eating something different. Sometimes he even asks us if we have his epi pen when leaving the house.

It's hard to tell a 3 year old about the severity of his peanut allergy without terrifying him. I want him to have a healthy fear, but not traumatize him. So far so good. I think we are on the right track. Here are some of the things we do to remind and teach him.

1. When we go to a party or play date, we talk about it in the car. I ask him questions like what if your friend wants to share his or her food? The answer, "say no thanks", and "ask mom or dad". We remind him don't take food from anyone but (we name the people who can give him food).

2. He doesn't were his medic alert bracelet all the time because it bothers him (it scratches him pretty badly no matter what I do to it). However he will wear it when we go to public evens and places, to a new play date or when their is a sub at school. As he gets older he will wear it more since we won't be with him as much. He knows it tells others about his allergies.

3. We have been teaching him what say say if he gets lost. He knows his full name, allergies, phone number, name of the town we live in, mom and dad's full names, our jobs and his grandparents name. If you ask him his name, he tells you than says, "I'm allergic to peanuts and nuts"! Pretty good for a 3 year old! It's my new parlor trick to show people:)

4. When we are shopping we make a effort to point out peanuts and tree nuts, the different products (especially candy), that they are in, and how they look different.

All this seems to be paying off and getting through to him and some of his little friends. Again, I am reminded that even thought the fear and anxiety we have has parents is stressful and exhausting, we are lucky that's it's not something worse. He is a happy, healthy, funny, smart, adorable little boy, who brings us so much joy. He may drive me crazy on a daily basis, but he also amazes me daily with his ability to learn and accept his small burden at such a young age.

We are two years into this, and it does get easier. Remember to be open minded when others are not, educated others but not preach, work with schools, parents and organizations to help advocate for your child as well as others. You will be surprised how many doors open, and events pop up just because you talked about it in a positive way.

FYI the NY Mets contacted me again about a peanut free suite for a weekend game in May. I'll get the info to you this week! It all started with a simple email! You can make a difference!

Year Two of Living with Food Allergies.

A letter from a stranger can change your day.

While I'm no the best blogger, I do, do it for many reasons. To connect with others in my situation, raise awareness, and just listen to others. I receive e-mails from strangers often talking about their struggles. Some are angry, some are sad, some are of a great experience they have had, and some are just people getting it all out.

Kelly sent me this email and said I could share. It's about the basic thing we all have in common. Makes me feel like I'm not crazy to feel the way I do. That I'm not alone in my fears and anxiety.

"My name is Kelly and my little boy is Zachary he is 4yrs old going to be 5 soon. I still worry every day about him going to school. They have a peanut free campus, but the other day I saw a can of peanut butter there. I know how stressful it is wondering if there will ever be a true safe zone for my son or will I receive a dreaded phone call from the school.

I carry my cell phone everywhere I go. Zachary's doctor told me that there was no way possible to be 100% safe any where in the world today. That he would come in contact with peanuts and tree nuts, that's why we need to learn how to take care of those incidents when they happen.

Zachary understands that some foods hurt him and doesn't want to eat them. I have taught him to ask first before eating anything, fortunately we have a wonderful teacher that calls me to ask first too. I have decided to create a list of all foods to send to school with him from now on, the teachers says it easier for them. Our school nurse has also asked us to send a box of safe snacks to school, just in case. Zachary has peanut, tree nut and asthma was rast tested at 10 months old and then again at 2yrs. Was going to do a food challenge, but was sick and had to cancel it.

That summer he was eating food that had tree nuts: Pizza Huts sauce, bunny bread and ice cream had may contain trace amount of peanuts. Same brand he had been eating and label changed, broke out in hives all over his body, was very sick. Doctor said that was a mild reaction due to small amounts of peanuts and tree nuts, could be bad if he ate a larger amount. He was sick for a month and half, I felt terrible.

Sometimes the rest of the family forgets, so I tote around food and medications all the time to make sure nothing happens, but if it does mom to the rescue. I look at it as to educate my family about the allergies and asthma or any body else that wants to listen. So far only a couple trips to the doctor due to allergy or asthma, thank god.

Kelly"

Thanks to Kelly for sharing, and thanks to you all for listening. This is one reason to be on here. It's to be here for you like you are here for me.

A letter from a stranger can change your day.

Goodbye 2011 & Hello 2012!

Trying to find 10 minutes or more to sit down and write theses days is next to impossible. I don't know how the other mom bloggers do it. My hats off to you ladies! I myself am not that organized. I have piles of laundry waiting to be put away, a sink full of dishes, bottles and pump parts. My dining room is stacked with picture frames waiting to find a photo and a home. I'm not even going to describe what our "play" room looks like. At least my desk at work is nice and neat.

With that said, I look at the mess and think we had one heck of a year. Most important is that Cormac became a big brother. We are lucky he is such a good baby, and Mac is a great brother. Now add my hubby's new horrible schedule, to the new baby, Mac starting preschool, going back to work, and me trying to start a photography business, and needless to say, life has gotten challenging. There are days I say to myself, somethings got to give. Maybe his food allergies will disappear. That would make things easier. But that's not realistic. A girl can dream.

We went for our yearly allergist visit to see if we would get our Christmas miracle. Turns out his peanut numbers went up. A lot! It makes no sense to me after the huge drop last year. But what can you do? I can't say that it didn't upset me when we got the call. I was really hoping we were getting closer the possibility of him growing out of it. I guess I will always hope that it will change.

The good news is we may be able to rule out all tree nuts soon. We got the go ahead for hazelnuts. He's even had nutella, and is doing fine with it. The Dr said she wants to do a food challenge for cashews. If he passes, we can say he's not allergic to tree nuts! It's the last one showing up in the tests.

At the moment I'm excited about the idea of the food challenge, and the hope that we can take away the tree nut fear. But there is a waiting list for the challenge, so by the time it happens I'll be a mess. For now though, I'll think of it as a good thing.

We are also debating on whether or not to test the baby. Our allergist recommends having him tested for peanuts around 9 months to a year. We probably will, but I have concerns regarding false positives. We will look more into it and then decide. If anyone else tested because of an older sibling can you please share your experience with me?

Our holidays from Halloween to New Years were uneventful in a good way. Thanks to a snow storm the week of Halloween, trick or treating wasn't an issue this year. Family made all the holiday meals safe. I couldn't be happier. There are tons of other things that happened in 2011, but to write it all out would take all of 2012. One one my resolutions is to be better about blogging. Now if the kids would only cooperate.

I hope 2012 is a wonder reaction free year for you all!

Goodbye 2011 & Hello 2012!

Summertime Blues:(

My apologies for not keeping up with my blog. For some reason June is always a crazy month for me. Not one of my favorites. This year I have a touch of the summer time blues. While most people are excited to get out and about, I just want to hide. The good news is, I'm coming out of it!

So some might ask, "How can you be down in the beginning of the summer"? Well for me it's the overwhelming thoughts of all food challenges that summer brings. Add 7.5 month pregnant hormones, potty training, the terrible 2's, the heat, and there you have it folks. A very cranky momma.

What set me off this year is the Ice Cream Man. As a kid, I loved this summertime tradition. He rarely came down my block so it was extra special when he did. Where we live now he comes almost every night at dinnertime. That annoying song that loops over and over drive me nuts! He always stops right in front of out house without fail. Not just for a minute but for 5 to 10 minutes. Sometimes another one comes a bit later.

We've tried to tell the little man that's it's the music truck, but he doesn't buy it. He sees what all the kids are eating. It just makes me so sad every time he sees the kids and their ice cream, and he can't have any. I keep some safe popsicles in the freezer, but that will only last so long. I know there has to be something he sells that is safe for him like a fruit bar or something. I just haven't figured it out yet. I'm not sure how receptive the Ice Cream Man will be to me standing there reading labels for a while without buying anything until I can double check with the company. I know there is a solution to this, I just have to get on it.

Parties and BB Q's are the another summertime downer for me. What once was a fun time, has turned into anxiety from hell. Gone are the days where I can sit and enjoy the party and watch my kid from a distance. Now I have to hoover. FYI helicopter parent is not my thing.

In addition, now that Mac understands that his food is different, it's so hard. He really wants what everyone else is having. He gets mad and upset when we tell him no, but just doesn't understand why. We've been talking to him about peanut and tree nuts and how they will make him sick. He repeats it all the time but doesn't quite get it yet. Again another thing that breaks my heart.

I hate having to pack a days worth of meals every time we go on an outing. Lugging it around and then he won't eat it! It's worse then when he was a baby and we had to bring baby food and bottles. I guess the good part is we don't spend the money and eat healthier right?

Well enough with the pity party for me. There are so many worse things out there to be down about. It really is time to stop feeling down. I have a happy and health child and am grateful for that. As I said I'm coming out if it. I'm keeping busy trying to start a new photography business (shameless plug I know, I'm on Facebook too), chasing a 2.5 year old asking if he needs to go pee every ten minutes, getting ready for the new baby, as well as trying to get the Food Allergy Families of Rockland support group growing. I need a drink! I can't wait till I can have a margarita on the rocks with no salt! August is seems so far with a caving like that.

Ok I'm done feeling sorry for myself!

Summertime Blues:(

A Year Gone By

Today is an anniversary for our family. It's not one we remember fondly, but it makes us thankful that we made it though without any major incidents (well since the first one that is). A year ago today our family entered the oh so fun world of severe food allergies.

This last week I've been really thinking about how our lives have changed. How my parenting style has changed. Our lives are more stressful, and I've become that helicopter mom at parties (not how I envisioned myself at all). In fact I dread parties now. I have bad dreams about him riding the bus and bullies. I also have arguments with strangers in my head when thinking about the future and the situations we may encounter. I've always been outraged about intolerance, but now it makes me weep when I know my child is the target.

However that is not all. I've become more tolerant and educated. I've come to appreciate our family and friends even more than before. Without their love, support, and acceptance of our situation, things would be much harder. I cry when someone goes out of their way to make my son feel safe and included. I've connected with other parents through this blog to get support and hopefully to give it. I've also met another local mom who is working with me as a co founder for a community support group Food Allergies Families of Rockland. So it's not all bad.

I don't think I even told you our story of how this all began. Since today is our anniversary, it's time I shared it with you. Let me start with that there was no family history with nut or peanut allergies that we knew of. Neither my husband nor myself have any food allergies. We were not told to wait till he was 2 years old since there was no history. When Cormac was about 14-15 months old we decided to try peanut butter. I waited until we had some Benedryl in the house just in case. It was a first time mom thing. I really didn't think he had allergies. I first tested it on his skin, again no real reason just did it that way. No reaction. So he had his first PB&J. Still no reaction. So I'm thinking we're all good. That year at Easter he had some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and other chocolate candies. Again no reaction. Two more PB&J's later and all was still good.

So that's at least 4 times the kid had peanut butter without a reaction. Well #5 was the winner. A very good friend came over for a play date which we planned on having lunch. While I was getting our food ready she asked if Cormac could have a peanut butter cracker. I said yes, so she made him and her son some. When I come out of the kitchen she says I think his eyes look funny. I thought, oh he's just tired since it was very close to nap time. Within five minutes we knew it wasn't that he was tired. His eyes were swelling and swelling fast!

She said I think it's the peanut butter. I still was not convinced because he had had it at least 4 times already, and he hadn't even eaten any of it this time. Well we figured out he rubbed his eyes with his peanut butter coated hands.

Now we're getting really scared. His eyes were now swelled closed and the size of golf balls, and he was getting a bit lethargic. I gave him some Benedryl, started a bath and, called the Dr., as well as my husband who was luckily down at the library in town. The Dr was out so I called the emergency number. He called back fast, told me to give him more Benedryl and if his breathing started to get bad go to the ER. Luckily that didn't happen. The Benedryl seemed to calm things down pretty quickly.

Photo 1. taken 20 minutes after exposure. Photo's 2. and 3. taken 3 hours after exposure.

He was now able to open his eyes, but when he did I was totally freaked out! The whites of his eyes had swollen so much that they were starting to cover his iris's! They looked like someone put a ton of clear jelly like stuff in them.

He was no longer lethargic but was crying in pain. This however didn't last long thank God. The Dr called back to check on him 20 minutes after our first call. We updated him that Cormac seems to be improving. He again said to watch his breathing and call 911 if any hives appeared, his breathing changed, passed out, or started vomiting. None of that happened so we stayed home. It took over 24 hours for the swelling to go completely down.

I think back now and think why didn't I go to the hospital? Part of it was I didn't know what was happening. It didn't make any sense to me. Cormac was able to communicate to me the same as if he were ok. I had an experienced mom with me and then my husband who both kept me calm. At no point did I feel his life was in danger, but that was my inexperience with food allergies talking.

That's our story. I can't imagine what would of happened if he actually ate the peanut butter that day. Instead of his eyes swelling it could have been his throat, mouth or tongue which would have been much more serious. After seeing a pediatric allergist twice now, and living with this for a year, we have learned so much. The one thing that scares me the most is that his next reaction could be much worse. But if and when it happens you can bet we will be calling 911. When they say knowledge is power, it's true. The more you know about food allergies the better you can keep your kids safe.

Do I wish he didn't have food allergies? You bet! But when I think about all the other illness's or disabilities he could have, I am grateful that this is just it.

A Year Gone By

What is wrong with people?

I really don't understand people. I had planned on writing a nice positive post about some great people and places we have been. Unfortunately the horrible ongoing going struggle about the 1st grade girl in Fl is haunting me.

I read the update this morning on The Allergic Kid and some other news reports (I commented on this one). Again I find myself in tears for this family. What baffles me even more is that there are other children in the school that have peanut allergies. Why are they targeting this one little girl? Why are they threatening her life over peanuts? Because their kids have to wash their hands. Really? Good hygiene practices (which they should be doing anyway), interfere with education, but class parties do not take time away from their studies. Why can't they have class parties without food? How is food a part of the learning experience?

As I said before, for 5 meals out of 21 in a week and a few snacks you can't come up with a different just as affordable lunch option? What do you think kids with allergies eat for lunch fillet mignon? Especially at the elementary school level I think schools need to be vigilant in keep all kids safe. I'm not always in favor of peanut free schools, but depending on the amount of kids and severity of the allergies it may be an option. A peanut free classroom is not extreme and either is hand washing.

Calling hand washing an extreme measure is just pain stupid. Do they even know the definition of extreme? It benefits all the kids not just the allergic ones. I bet these parents don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. I think the adults are the ones lacking an education.

On the The Allergic Kid blog there is contact info for the state, school district and principal. Please read the advise given about contacting them. If you want to speak up for this family I encourage you, but keep the family's wishes in mind.

I am so grateful for the people we have in our lives that help us keep our son safe without us even asking. Even our preschool and parents of his classmates are supportive. You would think as one parent to another it wouldn't even be a question.

What is wrong with people?

What not to eat?

So now that our big news is out, I can share my struggles about food. When your pregnant the doctors give you a list of no no foods. No sushi, no alcohol, no caffeine, no cold cuts... the list goes on. This off limits list does not take into consideration that we already have a child with food allergies.

My first instinct was to avoid all his allergens while pregnant with number two. It makes sense. I am not exaggerating when I say I ate peanut butter 5 or more days a week for all 9 months of my pregnancy with Cormac. I also turned to almonds and walnuts for a quick, easy, and healthy snack. Low and behold, a child with severe peanut and tree nut allergies. I have beating myself up over this since we found out.

The minute we decided to have another baby I stared researching what to do this time. Every doctor (about 5 so far), say not to totally avoid these foods. Same with what I've read. Ok, now what I asked myself. There is no conclusive evidence as to whether to avoid or include these foods in my diet, just opinion. I hate that there are no clear cut answers when it comes to food allergies.

So like with the regular list of no's, my hubby and I decided moderation is key. Obviously I'm not going to eat these things around my son or even bring it into my house. So work is were I sample the forbidden. Is this the right coarse of action? I really don't know.

The good thing is I can bring almonds and walnuts back into the house. We received the good news that we can go ahead and include these nuts in his diet. So no guilt in eating those. In fact I had a yummy almond butter and jelly sandwich today.

Even though this is my second pregnancy, and I'm much more relaxed about it, I now have a whole new set of fears I didn't have with the first. I really don't know if I'm doing the right thing, and that is stressing me out.

What not to eat?

Valentine's Day Candy So Far

When I wait until the last minute to get safe treats for my little man I always regret it. So I started shopping. We don't make a big deal about Valentine's Day, but it's nice to get a sweet treat. I use to love when my parents would get a little something for me. A giant Hershey's Kiss was a favorite.

This year is a challenge. It's our first allergy aware Valentine's Day. Please keep in mind the treats mentioned are peanut and tree nut free to my knowledge. Remember to check for yourselves.

Since the giant Hershey's kiss is out of the question, I picked up some regular kisses since those are the safe ones. I also picked up some Sweet Tarts Hearts, not to be confused with sweet hearts (the hearts are not safe). Sweet hearts are the normal conversation heart candies people usually give out, but you guessed it, it's on the no no list.

As mentioned on our Facebook page I also bought Heart Shaped Peep's. I did write them and found out (the next day I might add), just as people said on the FB page they are safe. He's a snippet from their email:

Because product formulations can change at any time, we encourage consumers to refer to our package labels for the most up-to-date ingredient and allergen information. We are required by law to declare major food allergens as defined by the FDA on our label. Moreover, it is our policy to voluntarily add advisory statements to our packages to alert consumers to potential cross contamination risks. Therefore, if there is a risk of any cross contamination with peanuts or tree nuts it would be stated on our packaging.

I like that they have a policy to voluntarily add advisory statements about possible cross contamination. This is responsible labeling and I think it's great. Easter is looking a little bit sweeter this year too! I love me some Peep's!

Since I know school will most likely pose a problem I'm going in with back up in my pocket this party. Some candies, and cookies ready to eat. Since we are snowed in once again I was going to try and make some heart shaped sugar cookies with the hard frosting and share my success or failure with you. But alas, my dear husband used the last of the vanilla so I have to settle for some oatmeal chocolate chip. Still yummy and much easier. I hope to get some time soon to try my hand at the the sugar cookies this week or next.

Remember: READ IT BEFORE YOU EAT IT!

Valentine's Day Candy So Far

What's Acceptable?

I'm hoping I can get back to my blogging as I've been MIA. For some reason I've been avoiding the computer and my social networking/emails a lot lately. Probably not a bad thing since so much of our time now revolves around the Internet. I'm actually trying to talk myself out of upgrading to a smart phone. Do I really need Internet access 24/7?

So I read a blog entry today about a teacher who feels guilty about eating nuts at school. Now she does not have any allergic children in her class, nor is the school peanut and tree nut free. However they were at one time but that failed. The new idea is for the teachers to abstain and ask the kids to as well, but again it's not policy. Kids can still bring in their nutty foods.

She goes on to say how guilty she feels about her secret stash of mixed nuts she has in her draw. That she always washes her hands after eating them. She is aware of the allergies in the school (again none in her classroom). She seems responsible about it, but feels guilty. I think that feeling alone shows that she does care. Her post was well written and not accusatory against food allergic children or parents.

My point of this post is to ask, what's acceptable to you? We each will have our own tolerance on what is OK and what's not. In general I am OK with what she is doing. Provided she is not interacting with other children who do have allergies and is not eating the nuts in front of the non allergic kids when asking them not to eat nuts. I do think a teacher needs to set the example. Kids learn from teachers just as much as they do from home.

OK what do you think? Should she feel guilty?

What's Acceptable?

Two Reminders

Epi Pens

With the cold weather settling in remember that your epi pens are affected by the temperature. Remember do not leave them in the car in the cold or hot weather. It can damage them and they may not be as effective as you need them to be. We have the Epi Pen Jr and there is a little window to check and see if it's still good. Make sure to check them and their expiration dates.

We finally went and got our Christmas tree last week. We didn't need to bring his diaper bag so we left it in the car. The chances of him having an ana reaction while getting a tree are slim but we always carry it with us. I put it in the inside pocket of my jacket to keep it from getting too cold. So remember that when sledding or just playing outside keep it with you where it won't get too cold.

Read it before you eat it!

Another reminder is this. With the holidays almost here we are getting busier and busier. It was the week between Thanksgiving and Cormac's birthday. I was at Costco getting things for his party and was stressing out. They have really yummy premade meals that just need to be heated up. I LOVE their chicken and past alfredo. I scooped it up and was all set for dinner.

We got home and the leaf truck was on our street. We just have to rake our leaves to the curb and the truck sucks them up. So I bundled Cormac up and in a mad rush tried to finish the raking I started the day before. The calvary arrived! My parents pulled up at that moment and even 2 of our neighbors jumped in to help get the yard done. With their help the front got done just as they stared to pick up out leaves.

Well, still without checking I asked my mom to put in the chicken dinner. She did and it smelled so yummy. Then my mom came running out of the house. She was looking at the directions and by chance saw that is was process on the same equipment as peanut and tree nuts. I felt so horrible. In my rush to get a bunch of things done I didn't do the easiest and most important thing done. I didn't read the label! I was just going to give it to him. It really would have been all my fault. My mom thought I checked it so she didn't. We were lucky that she caught it. I beat myself up over it for days.

So my point is, don't let all the craziness get to you so bad you get careless like me. Remember to always check labels and ask people who made dishes what's in them.

And check those EpiPens and other meds, and beware of the cold temperatures.

Two Reminders

Our Thanksgiving Plan

With 3 days left until thanksgiving I'm hoping we all have our "plan" ready. This will be our first Thanksgiving with food allergies. Surprisingly I'm not freaking out. I think it's because my mom is hosting. She has jumped right into our food allergy world, and is so amazing about it. Our other family members get it too. We do have it easier since Cormac only has the two allergies. For that I am thankful. I feel so lucky that there are no battles over this meal. I know that's not true for everyone.

What are we doing to make this a safe meal? Well first all appetizer will be safe. Anything he can get his grubby little hands on, has to be peanut and tree nut free. My mom likes to put out appetizers in the living room, perfect for him to get. So I'm in charge of two appetizers (the ones I would question if I didn't put out). She has asked about the other to make sure they are ok.

Dinner:

All but one dish will be free of his allergens (peanuts & tree nuts). My mom even contacted the company that makes the seasoning she uses for the stuffing. We couldn't get a 100% grantee that it was safe. Their facility is peanut and tree nut free, but they could not confirm if the plant were they get some of their ingredients from is. This was a tough decision. We said ok because the company explained their cleaning practices as well as their allergen testing policies. They seem pretty thorough, to my satisfaction anyway.

Our family has a love of sweet potato casserole. This is the one unsafe dish. Unfortunately our family recipe is topped with pecans. It is so delicious that I can't imagine not having it. The family offered not to have it, or to make it without the pecans, but Jim and I decided we were ok with it. My aunt will be making it at her house so we can avoid the possibility of loose nuts in the house, or the residue it may leave on the counters, cutting boards and such. What we will be doing is making up Cormac's plate and left over Tupperware before anyone even sites down. This way we reduce the risk of cross contamination of utensils and if he wants seconds (which I doubt), it will be all be on the side waiting for him.

As far as Jim and I eating the forbidden casserole, were not sure. We have the bad habit of sharing our food with him. We were thinking of having a separate plate and fork for it, but I don't know if I trust myself. We'll see.

Dessert:

We are lucky enough to have a peanut and tree nut free bakery in my parents town, Carmine's Village Bakery. To be safe she ordered all the rolls, pies and cakes from there. So he will have some options. I'm not sure if anyone is bringing anything else. If so, we will just have to watch him like at any other party.

With all that in place I'm feeling good and grateful to have such a wonderful family. However not all families are so cooperative. If you fall in this category (I'm sorry if you do), make sure you have a plan. He are some thing to think about.

1. When you sit down and think about it, does the meal have to be completely allergen free? For us not completely but the majority does. For some with multiple allergies it can be a must. If so, you may want to host. If your family refuse to make any concessions regarding the meal you may want to say, "We would love to join you but it really is too dangerous for so and so." I know this is not what most people want to do and it sucks, but it may be the only way for people to take you seriously or to keep you little one safe.

2. If you can handle a few unsafe dishes consider a seating arrangement and serving your allergic family member first. Even make up the left over Tupperware ahead of time.

3. Make your allergic family member one of their favorite dishes. In time this will become a part of your usual holiday dinner. Make enough for everyone. This way your little one won't feel like they are the only one eating it. As a kid I hated everything. Our parents use to include a pan of baked ziti at every holiday. It has become a must have over the years, even though it wasn't a holiday staple. Even as adults my cousins and I love having it.

4. Bring all you own food for your little one. Ask you host what they are serving and make as close to an identical meal as possible. Make extra too so they have left overs when they get home that you can all eat together. It's seems like a lot of work, but if it make your little one feel include, I say it's worth it.

Well since it's out first FA Thanksgiving I don't have much more advise. If you have more advise to add please do. Sharing ideas and ways to keep out kiddos safe is very important.

I hope you all have a safe, fun and wonderful Thanksgiving. Oh and check out tomorrows Take Over Tuesday, with Tricia who will share her nut free recipe for a sweet potato pie!

Our Thanksgiving Plan

It's Over!

The weeks before Halloween my anxiety levels increased more each day. The last few nights before the main event I didn't sleep very much. I really didn't know what to expect for our first trick or treating (he had the flu last year). I have to say I was pleasantly surprised how well it all went.

We gave out peanut and tree nut safe candy and two kids actually commented and were happy. Most people let Cormac pick out his own candy. So we were able to stay clear of the unsafe stuff. I was surprised at how much safe candy people gave out this year. Also if he did go for a snickers, I would ask if he could have something else. Most people didn't think anything of it. Some even asked why. When I told them about his allergies they were great about it. One woman even told me that a few of the kids were asking what had peanut in it and what didn't. I guess my town has more kids with food allergies than I thought.

We went trick or treating with two of his little friends (and my mommy friends). It was so fun watching these three 2 year old' s (Mac is almost 2), go door to door and hear them say trick or treat. The moms were great to. They saved the peanut candy to eat later when they got home. I did make some adult hot chocolate (with Bailey's) since it was pretty cold.

Over all it was a great experience. He got safe candy, no panic attacks for me or the hubby, and we all had a good time. Plus since he doesn't really eat candy anyway, we get 99% of it! So how was your Halloween?

One last thing. I'm looking for this months Guest Blogger. If you interested please let me know. I still have lots to learn and would love to hear what you have to say.

It's Over!

I've been slacking!

I know it's been over a week without a new post. It's just been hectic. I have a lovely cold and I'm just plain tired! Fall is my favorite time of year and October is my favorite month. We've been trying to do a lot, but this month has had us down for the count so far. Cormac has been sick twice as well as myself with four different things.

With what little free time I have, I've been trying to find a safe food coloring. Yep you heard me food coloring. With the holiday's upon us and treats everywhere, it times to start researching. To be honest, I hadn't even thought about food coloring until a friend asked which one was safe to make her sons birthday cake with. Cormac was going to be a guest at the party and they wanted him to be able to eat the cake (I have some great friends)! So the search started.

I've been e-mailing a few different companies and am still waiting for most to respond. The front runner looks like Betty Crocker, though I'm still waiting for a clarification from them. The actual company which makes Betty Crocker's food coloring and sprinkles is Signature Brands LLC. When I hear back from them I will update you. What they have told me so far is that the following products are NOT SAFE:

Marble Mixins (NOT SAFE)

Parlor Perfect (NOT SAFE)

Cake Mate Fruit Flavored Decors (NOT SAFE)

Cake Mate 26 OZ Rainbow Sprinkles - upc 52100 32626 (NOT SAFE)

Cake Mate 26 OZ Chocolate Sprinkles - upc 5210030247 (NOT SAFE)

Unfortunately Wilton is now on the no list for food coloring for us. They are made in a facility that has peanut nuts and tree nuts. I asked if they had dedicated lines that were peanut and tree nut free and they could not confirm. However they did say to call them while shopping and they could tell me about the specific product I am looking for. Here is the phone number if you want to check 1 800 794-5866. I did find them very helpful, quick to respond and forthcoming with the information. So in my book Wilton seems to be a responsible company.

I have other inquires out and will update with a full list. An amazing Baker friend of mine had made some calls too. I will be including those companies as well when I can get myself together. I know I'm behind on the Halloween topic but I hope to have my thoughts on it out soon. And yes we will be trick or treating!

I've been slacking!

Take Over Tuesday: Meet Jim, August's Guest Blogger

Meet Jim, AKA the dad!He is the worlds best father to my beautiful little boy, and my wonderful, loving and supportive husband. Most important he is my best friend. His guest blog is about what a dad goes through being a parent of a food allergy kid.

A Father's Story

The day our little man had his allergic reaction, terribly swollen eyes as a result of contact with peanut butter, our lives changed instantly. Diane called me while I was studying at the library, in a panic, and I rushed home to find Cormac with puffed up eyes, and a sad expression on his face. My first reaction, after learning his breathing was normal, was to pick him up and hug him, and try to make him feel like everything was OK. I didn't want Cormac to see the fear and panic in our eyes, so I just hugged him and talked to him like I always do. We had seen diaper rashes, teething, sleepless nights and other childhood events, but never anything like this. On top of all of the everyday worries of any parents, we now had to be concerned with food allergies.

Since that day, we have both learned about food allergies in our own ways. I have asked friends about their experiences, checked out Internet articles and, thanks to Diane, read some very informative blogs about the issue. Diane, on the other hand, jumped head first into a campaign of research, networking and blogging. As she will readily admit, we tend to react in very different ways to events in our life and Cormac's peanut allergy has been no exception. However, as I hope she understands, that doesn't mean we disagree on the importance of caring for our little guy. We just have different ways of making sense of life's challenges.

I have to thank Diane for introducing me to the world of blogging. I know it's not something I will ever do on a daily basis, but I understand why people do it, and I appreciate the way blogs and websites bring people together to talk about common issues. It's really amazing how many people from so many parts of the country, and the world, have shown interest in Diane's blog. It makes us feel like we aren't the only ones out there who are dealing with peanut allergies.

I guess I still have the same reaction when I think about Cormac's peanut allergy as I did that day I saw him with his puffy eyes. I just want him to feel as normal as any other kid. Reading about other people with food allergies and other parents coping with their kid's allergies has helped give me perspective and hope.

I hope this blog helps make another father or mother realize that they are not alone in dealing with food allergies. I hope that it helps them feel like everything is going to be OK.

Jim (the Dad)

Take Over Tuesday: Meet Jim, August's Guest Blogger

Looking for a day of family fun?

Our Team No Nuts For My Peanut, is walking the in the FAAN Food Allergy Walk in Wstchester, and would love to see everyone come out and support us and others if your not walking already. There is a bunch of family fun, and food safe activities that will be happening during the walk. I received an e-mail from the organizers telling me what will be going on that day and wanted to share! If you don't live near the Westchester location, check out the FAAN Walk For Food Allergy locations for your area.

The First Annual Westchester FAAN Walk for Food Allergy is on Saturday, October 2nd. The Walk will take place at Glen Island Park in New Rochelle. Hundreds of residents are expected to walk with their families and friends. In addition, Congresswoman Nita Lowey and Dr. Amanda Cox, Pediatric allergist at Mount Sinai Hospital (who is also our Dr.) will be there!

Their will be entertainment, vendors and activities for the kids. The Z100 Party Patrol bus will be there to get things started! Following the walk, Suzi Shelton a rising star in the children's music scene, will be performing her catchy and upbeat folk/pop-rock music. Groove Performing Arts, a family favorite in Westchester County, will perform songs from it's award-winning music program for kids, Music for Aardvarks. In addition to the free concerts, enjoy a fun-filled day of activities such as arts & crafts, obstacle course, jumpy castles, gaga court, raffle and more.

Also the Melting Pot is hosting a FONDUE-Raiser, Tuesday, August 17th from 4:00-10:00 pm to benefit the FAAN Walk. A portion of the proceeds form each meal will be donated to FAAN. Melting Pot offers a gluten-free menu and can accommodate most food allergies. Please contact Melting Pot in White Plains at 914 933-6358 to make a reservation.

Even though we live over the bridge in Rockland County, Westchester is just minutes away. We hope to see you, whether you are walking or just come out for the fun! If you see me come say hi. I would love to meet you!

Looking for a day of family fun?

We Finally Ordered His Medical Alert Bracelet

After struggling with whether or not to get the Medic Alert bracelet, I finally ordered it today. I don't know why, but I kept putting it off. We have gotten many opinions about this from people saying "well he's always with you why get it", to "you must have one". The reality is Cormac is not always with us. He's with people we trust when not with us, but it's not the same as mom and dad . I think part of me felt that getting one made it official. That sounds crazy I know. You would think when Cormac had that horrible reaction to peanut butter, or when we got the test results, or going to the Jaffe Center, I would feel the "officialness" of it all. Don't get me wrong I did every time. But, picking up that phone, signing him up, and picking out his bracelets (yes I ordered two), made me so sad today. I know it's the right thing and can only help keep him safe.

I said we ordered two bracelets. I know, I know he only needs one. I just couldn't pick one. I have a strong feeling that Mac is not going to be happy about wearing it and will loose it. So I got two different ones. I ordered a more updated sports band and the traditional chain with the the logo in red.

OK so why medic alert you may ask when there are so may different and cuter kinds out there? Well I chose Medic Alert because emergency personal have access to his Emergency Medical Information Records or EMIR. They can contact us or our other emergency contacts in case we are not with him, or if in an accident and non responsive. We actually have 5 people listed as emergency contacts! It is also a universally known symbol. We do pay a discounted yearly fee of $15.00 because he is in the Kid Smart Membership. His membership came with a free bracelet and an emergence contact card which includs his Dr's contact info as well. I also like that they inscribe it with his allergies. We had Anaphylaxis peanuts, tree nuts. Treat with Benadryl or Epipen Jr. inscribed on his.

If you don't want to use Medic Alert, there are many others to choose from, but they don't have the EMIR service. You can google medical alert jewelry and a bunch will show up in your search results. Some of the ones I've seen are quite fashionable and cute. What you get all depends on what you need.

I'll post photos when they come in and we'll see if Mac will wear it.

We Finally Ordered His Medical Alert Bracelet