Empowering Your Food Allergic Child

I get asked these questions a lot from strangers to friends. How are you teaching you 4 year old son about his allergies? When did you start teaching him? How can I tell my child about their allergies without scaring them? Then a long conversation happens because the answer isn't that simple. Some are happy to hear it, others regret asking the question. Educating your child on his or her challenges can give them control over it. It will empower them.

Starting the FA conversation with your toddler child.

Age has a lot to do with how you approach your child. My son was 14 months old when he had his 1st reaction. Not an easy age to talk to them. You can't just say "don't eat peanuts they can make you sick or kill you".  You can't just go to a party and let them move about and snack on all the food that is at their disposal. You end up being that dreaded helicopter parent. Not fun for anyone, but it's what you do.

What we did at this young age was to reinforce asking mom or dad only for food. Don't take food from anyone but person A, B, or C... When in the supper market (or any where we saw the offending foods), we would point out peanuts and nuts and say YUCKY, DANGER. If we saw a certain candy commercial we would say the same thing. He also had some books that had pictures of peanuts and nuts in them. Again we would say YUCKY, DANGER. We were using images to teach. This wasn't a plan, it's just what we did naturally.

Age 2
At around age 2 is when we started using car rides to talk about it. On our way to a party or play date we would tell him the food rules. That even though we may not see the peanuts or nuts they could still be in the food. We bought him his medic alert bracelet and had him start to wear it. We started using the words safe and not safe quite a bit!

The Preschool Years (which we are still in)

Age 3
When he turned 3 we started talking about getting sick and having to go to a hospital if he ate the wrong thing. That he would have to get a shot that mommy or daddy would have to give him. Now instead of telling him the food rules he had to tell us on the way to a party. When we met other kids with allergies we would excitedly say, "guess who else can't eat peanuts!"

If we went to someone house who made sure the food was safe for him we made sure (and still do),  to have him tell the host thank you for making or having safe snacks.

At school we had a great system worked out. Before we would go into his classroom we would go (and still do), and check to see if the snack was safe together. He would see me check, and then I would tell him if it was OK on not. If I remembered I would have him tell the teacher if he could eat it or not. Sometimes I forgot and told her myself. If was unsafe we had snacks stashed with the teacher. We also always brought his treat for parties and such. Whether at school or at a party. This was and is his normal. It doesn't even phase him.

We also started talking about his EpiPen. We showed it (the trainer) to him and told him it had to go everywhere with him. We just left it at that at the time.

Age 4
Just before he turned 4, we went to a close friends party. As usual she made the whole thing safe for him even though she doesn't have to (thank God for friends like this). They had a pinata with all safe candy for him. The kids broke the thing and candy was everywhere. He collected his stash and started to look thought. He came running to me with a box of Jr. Mints in hand, yelling "MOM these have peanuts! You said the candy was safe!" Turns out there was a no peanut symbol on the box. He saw the peanut but didn't know the red circle with the line through it meant no.

At that moment I knew what we spent the last 2 years teaching him sunk in. It was a sad and happy moment. Happy because he learned. Sad because now he understand his life can end with just one bite of the wrong thing.

About 6 moths after that party we headed back into the city for another food challenge. He had passed his first challenge to cashews, so we were pretty confidant he would pass this one for walnuts and pecans. This was not the case. Two minutes after his 1st bite of walnut he started to have a reaction (to read all about this food challenge click here to find the post and details of that bad day). While it was not the outcome we had hoped for, we again learned that what we were teaching him had sunk in! He did everything he had been told to do.

Up until that point he really didn't know what it felt like to eat something that could hurt him. We were always afraid he wouldn't recognize it. That no matter what we told him, he wouldn't truly understand an allergic reaction.  Well he did, right from the start! He didn't need time to process what the feeling was. He knew what it was, and knew what to do.

Now at 4.5  we have switched over to the new Auvi-Q epinephrine injector.  We love it because of the audible directions its gives while having to use it and it's size. Our son loves it as well. We showed it (the trainer), to him and he is not afraid of it any more. It's smaller and easy to use. He is now the one who trains everyone how to use it. Yes my 4.5 year old trains the adults how to use it! He is also in charge of handing it over to the adult who will be taking care of him if he is getting dropped off (with us standing right there of course). He does not carry it on him, but we give it to him at the door to give to an adult.

So back to the title of this post, Empowering Your Food Allergic Child. How we empower our son is to educate him. The more he understands the more control he has. He is learning how to ask questions about his food. How to say no thank you to food offers. He knows what will help him in an emergency. He needs to be confident and informed. He needs to be able to stand up for and advocate for himself if we're not there, because lets face it we can't be there 24/7 for his whole life.

He needs to know these things and guess what, he knows! At lease he is starting to  really get a handle on it.  So don't be afraid that you will scare your child too much. A little fear is good but understanding is better.  You know your child better than anyone. You know what they can handle and not handle. Just don't underestimate the power your words have and how much they hear. That is you best weapon against food allergies.

Since we are still in preschool, I can't weight in on what to do with older children. Nicole Smith of Allergic Child is who I look to for that! I will have to wade through like so many parents that have gone before me. All I can say is I will always educate him, I will always advocate for him, I will do what I can to make him ready and able to handle what comes his way. I'm the mom, it's my job.

Empowering Your Food Allergic Child

Food Challenge Meltdown

I know many of you were following our food challenge last week on Facebook and Twitter. I want to thank you all for you kind, supportive words and prayers. If you weren't following lets just say, it didn't go so well.

This was our second food challenge. We went for our first one last fall (when I was on hiatus from here). It was for cashews. I was a nervous wreck the night before for many reasons. For years we have been telling our son do not eats nuts! Now we had to tell him eat these nuts. Needless to say it took two weeks prior to the test to convince him to do the challenge. Since I didn't think he would eat them, I made cookies with cashews in them after he went to bed. I was terrified the fumes from them cooking would make him have a reaction. I must of went into his room 20 times to check on him. We went in early to do the challenge. He ate the cashews plain while I wanted to throw up. And NOTHING! He loved them and is not allergic!

Cut to last Thursday. We were going in to challenge walnuts and pecans. Since the first challenge went so well. I was so calm (too calm). I slept well and everything. I didn't get nervous until he had to eat the walnut. He ate a piece smaller than a jelly bean, and announced he wasn't allergic with this big grin on his sweet face. We all laughed and I took a breath since I was holding it.

About 2 or 3 minutes (yes that fast), my son turned to us and said his mouth felt funny, like oatmeal. I couldn't understand what he meant by oatmeal. Then a few seconds later he said his tummy hurt and started clawing at the neck of his shirt. Then his fear set in. The terror in his eyes was too much for  me to see. He started panicking and the nurse and Dr. were there in a flash. The more questions we asked the more he panicked. His top lip started to swell a little. It was barley noticeable, but the Dr. and I saw it.  Food challenge over only minutes after we started. 

Benadryl to the rescue! Once we told him he was going to get medicine he started to calm down even before he took it. We were lucky that he didn't need epinephrine. The Benadryl took care of it. He did get a little lethargic but nothing that worried anyone too much. We had to stay for 3 more hours to make sure he was OK. 

Once I knew he was OK, I had to leave the room to catch my breath and let a few tears spill. The minute he said his mouth felt funny I wanted to throw up. That feeling didn't go away until the next day. A four year should never have to feel that fear, and a parent should never have to see it. He knew it was bad and saw it in my eyes as well. 

However there is a positive to this story! We've spent years talking to him about his allergies. As he gets older we get a little more detailed but noting too heavy yet. He's only four. The moment he felt something different he knew to tell us. He knew something was wrong. He recognized what we had been telling him for years. He did what he was taught. As a parent I'm so proud of my little man. Of all the things I could fail at, this wasn't it. We are doing the right thing. Teaching him one of the most import lessons in his young life. We did our job as his parents, and it feels good.

After we got the all clear getting ready for some pizza!

Do not attempt to do a food challenge at home without consulting a Dr. This was a medically supervised food challenge in a medical facility.

Food Challenge Meltdown

Thank You Cake Break!

We've been back a week now from our wonderful family vacation in Lewes, DE. It was such an amazing experience going away as a family of 4 for the first time. We decided a while ago that in order for us to go away we need to rent a space that had a kitchen. Not just to save money, but to save our sanity and keep stress at a minimum. Feeding your food allergic child while on vacation is a challenge, especially if you eat out for every meal. I would be exhausted by day 2, and DONE by day 3. The stress would ruin it.

With that said, we rented a house on the beach, and only ate out twice. If you find yourself in Lewse DE, these 2 establishments: Mr. P's and Jerry's Seafood, were so nice and accommodating, plus the food was great.  However the day we went into Rehoboth we faced our big first food challenge while on vacation.

 ©Diane French Photography                    

We had planed to spend the afternoon at the boardwalk and eat there. The first thing we noticed was that many of the concessions and restaurants cook their food with peanut oil. It was clearly stated on their signs as an advertisement. For us it was a waring and blessing. Even the one pizza place we went into used peanut oil. Now I'm sure there are many safe place to eat in Rehoboth that don't use peanut oil, as we didn't go into every establishment (there are a ton of places to eat there).  By the 4th or 5th one we tried without success, we were done.

Disappointed, we headed back to Lewes to eat as my son was starving. We found Mr. P's and all was good again. But it got me thinking, what if we had only rented a hotel room in Rehoboth like most families do? We would of been so stressed.

We got back to the house, and I posted on facebook about how bummed I was for my little man. Then, just like that, one you you replied (I won't post your name in case you don't want it here), to my post that there was a nut free bakery in Rehoboth! I looked them up and called the next morning. It was true, Cake Break in Rehoboth was peanut and tree nut free. They also had gluten free items as well.

It sounds crazy but I got a little emotional at the news. See we had already told our son we couldn't go to the ice cream place, that he couldn't eat the pop corn, or the fudge he saw others eating on the boardwalk. Pretty heart breaking for us. But as usual he was OK and would say, "I'll have some back at our beach house mommy".

Two day's later it was my husbands birthday. I had planned on baking cupcakes at the house, but now I didn't have to! We told our son about the bakery, and he was super excited to pick out a special birthday cupcake for his dad. So instead of lunch that day, we had cupcakes, sticky buns and cinnamon rolls. Delicious doesn't even begin to describe it. Needless to say he was a happy boy.

All photographs ©Diane French Photography

This pace was awesome. They even had a cupcake decorating area for the kids, some stools and chairs inside as well as out. When I asked the owner why a nut free bakery he had the best answer. He told me the day they opened there was  little boy screaming and crying because he couldn't go in and have a cupcake. That's all it took. Amazing right?

All photographs ©Diane French Photography 

So if you find yourself in the Rehoboth, DE area with a nut, peanut, or gluten, allergy, eat vegan, or just like sweets. Check out Cake Break! You won't be disappointed and you will be giving your business to people who care. They made our vacation that much better! And for a mom with a child with a life threatening food allergy that is a big deal.

Like the photos you see? Check out my photo blog and website at www.dianefrenchphoto.com

Thank You Cake Break!

Year Two of Living with Food Allergies.

I'm reflecting on another year gone by living with food allergies. On April 22 it will be 2 years of anxiety, fears and firsts. We learned a lot this last year. We have amazing family, friends and teachers who really look out for our little man. Even some of the parents at his school go out of their way to include him. For most, his allergy has become 2nd nature to them. We have had no new incidents involving his allergies, and he has outgrown most of his nut allergies. I believe we will be doing a food challenge with cashews this year. Lucky doesn't even describe how I feel. To read our story how we found out about our son's peanut allergy check out this post from last year.

As he is now 3, he is starting to understand more. He reminds us when dropping him at school that we need to check the snack. He asks if he can have whatever it is. When we tell him no, it's never been a problem. Even when it's cupcakes that the teacher didn't know were coming to class. I'm so proud of him. He never complains about being left out, or eating something different. Sometimes he even asks us if we have his epi pen when leaving the house.

It's hard to tell a 3 year old about the severity of his peanut allergy without terrifying him. I want him to have a healthy fear, but not traumatize him. So far so good. I think we are on the right track. Here are some of the things we do to remind and teach him.

1. When we go to a party or play date, we talk about it in the car. I ask him questions like what if your friend wants to share his or her food? The answer, "say no thanks", and "ask mom or dad". We remind him don't take food from anyone but (we name the people who can give him food).

2. He doesn't were his medic alert bracelet all the time because it bothers him (it scratches him pretty badly no matter what I do to it). However he will wear it when we go to public evens and places, to a new play date or when their is a sub at school. As he gets older he will wear it more since we won't be with him as much. He knows it tells others about his allergies.

3. We have been teaching him what say say if he gets lost. He knows his full name, allergies, phone number, name of the town we live in, mom and dad's full names, our jobs and his grandparents name. If you ask him his name, he tells you than says, "I'm allergic to peanuts and nuts"! Pretty good for a 3 year old! It's my new parlor trick to show people:)

4. When we are shopping we make a effort to point out peanuts and tree nuts, the different products (especially candy), that they are in, and how they look different.

All this seems to be paying off and getting through to him and some of his little friends. Again, I am reminded that even thought the fear and anxiety we have has parents is stressful and exhausting, we are lucky that's it's not something worse. He is a happy, healthy, funny, smart, adorable little boy, who brings us so much joy. He may drive me crazy on a daily basis, but he also amazes me daily with his ability to learn and accept his small burden at such a young age.

We are two years into this, and it does get easier. Remember to be open minded when others are not, educated others but not preach, work with schools, parents and organizations to help advocate for your child as well as others. You will be surprised how many doors open, and events pop up just because you talked about it in a positive way.

FYI the NY Mets contacted me again about a peanut free suite for a weekend game in May. I'll get the info to you this week! It all started with a simple email! You can make a difference!

Year Two of Living with Food Allergies.

What is a Peanut Free School?

So far so good. Mac has been in school for a month now and everything is going great. I check the snack every time before class, and he comes with me to "help". Now he even asks if it has peanuts in it as I read the ingredients. If it's not safe I tell him, and he's ok with having his own special snack. We've had one party and he had his own cupcake. Again he was fine with it. The funny thing is, the other kids want what he's having. The teacher is doing a great job teaching the kids not to share or take each others food. I love that she is turning his allergy into a teaching opportunity. That's a good teacher.

So what is a Peanut free school I ask? His school is peanut free, yet we've had to say no to a number of snacks. Mostly cookies. They get snacks that are processed on the same equipment or facility as peanuts or tree nuts. To me that's not peanut free, but to them it is.

I'm not asking them to change their policy, but did ask about it. The answer I got bothers me. I was told that it's just a disclaimer and that if they had to find snacks that didn't have this warning, the kids wouldn't have anything to eat. Um so why is there a huge bag of snacks for my kid in his classroom? There are tons of things for him to eat that are safe.

While it's true some companies put it on their products as a disclaimer, others don't. Again I'm not asking for a change. I just think they need to revise their peanut free statement. It creates a false sense of security. I know every parent has to make the choice of what is safe and not safe for their food allergic child. In our family shared equipment or facilities are not acceptable. He is still too young for us to take that chance especially when not with us. For other families theses things are ok. I'm not judging at all. It's each families choice.

Next month there are 7 birthdays in his class. I'm going to bake a batch of cupcakes and freeze them. This way I'm prepared!

What is a Peanut Free School?

Always the same.

Finally beautiful weather to take the little guy to the park today. I was not the only parent with that idea. The park was buzzing with kids today and it felt so good. Our guy had a great time.

As usual I had his epipen on me. I didn't bring a bag so it was sticking out of my pocket a little. I think any mom with a child who suffers from food allergies can spot and epipen a mile away. That's what happened today and I'm glad.

This very nice mom to a beautiful little boy came up to me and asked if Mac had food allergies? I of course said yes and then laughed because I remember the epipen sticking out of my pocket. She said I have mine in my bag. We got to talking and comparing allergies.

Whenever I meet someone who has a child with food allergies they all same the same two things:

1. How it is such a life changing diagnosis.

2. How alone they felt when hearing those works your child has a life threatening allergy to...

The second one always make me so sad. Why is it that we feel so alone? There are over 12 million people estimated to have food allergies. I am meeting people all the time now who have to deal with them in their families or just know someone.

I am reminded once again that more research, education and awareness is needed. I told her about the support group Helen and I are starting and she was excited to hear about it. I hope she comes. This is the exact reason I wanted to do this. We need to be there for each other, and learn from each other. Most importantly we need to know we are not the only ones.

Always the same.

Food Facts!

I received and e-mail asking me to talk about a website that can be a great help for anyone suffering from food allergies, want to check ingredients, nutritional facts, health score, recipes and even make a shopping list.

So I click on FoodFacts.com to check it out. As always I won't write about a product if I don't check it out first. I liked what I found. I especially like the Shopping List and Quick Recipe Finder. I can make a shopping list for myself and others on here. It is brand specific to help family and friends get what they need should they have to get food for my little man. While making the list I can double check the ingredients. Whoever is shopping will still have to double check when in the store, but at least they know where to start.

Though I haven't tried any of the recipes in the Quick Recipe Finder yet, I have done a search and a ton came up that avoided our allergies. I like that you can check off what you can't eat and a recipe is ready for you. They even put the safe brand of flour and seasonings you can use. Click add to shopping list and it adds all the ingredients to your list. You can then go and edit the list if you already have some of them. LOVE that. The recipe also lists the nutritional info. So it's good for anyone who is conceded about what they are eating.

I would recommend checking this out, especially if others take care of your FA children or you are new to the FA world. I think for the experienced FA people, it may give you some new recipe ideas! The only thing is you will have to register to use all the features on this site, but it is free so why not. For a better explanation check out their video on YouTube. They did tell me they are coming out with an app. Maybe they will let me review it ; )

**As always I want to be honest. I did not receive any money or products for this review. Just an opportunity for them to list my blog on their site. I would of wrote about it even if they didn't list it.

Food Facts!

Our Thanksgiving Plan

With 3 days left until thanksgiving I'm hoping we all have our "plan" ready. This will be our first Thanksgiving with food allergies. Surprisingly I'm not freaking out. I think it's because my mom is hosting. She has jumped right into our food allergy world, and is so amazing about it. Our other family members get it too. We do have it easier since Cormac only has the two allergies. For that I am thankful. I feel so lucky that there are no battles over this meal. I know that's not true for everyone.

What are we doing to make this a safe meal? Well first all appetizer will be safe. Anything he can get his grubby little hands on, has to be peanut and tree nut free. My mom likes to put out appetizers in the living room, perfect for him to get. So I'm in charge of two appetizers (the ones I would question if I didn't put out). She has asked about the other to make sure they are ok.

Dinner:

All but one dish will be free of his allergens (peanuts & tree nuts). My mom even contacted the company that makes the seasoning she uses for the stuffing. We couldn't get a 100% grantee that it was safe. Their facility is peanut and tree nut free, but they could not confirm if the plant were they get some of their ingredients from is. This was a tough decision. We said ok because the company explained their cleaning practices as well as their allergen testing policies. They seem pretty thorough, to my satisfaction anyway.

Our family has a love of sweet potato casserole. This is the one unsafe dish. Unfortunately our family recipe is topped with pecans. It is so delicious that I can't imagine not having it. The family offered not to have it, or to make it without the pecans, but Jim and I decided we were ok with it. My aunt will be making it at her house so we can avoid the possibility of loose nuts in the house, or the residue it may leave on the counters, cutting boards and such. What we will be doing is making up Cormac's plate and left over Tupperware before anyone even sites down. This way we reduce the risk of cross contamination of utensils and if he wants seconds (which I doubt), it will be all be on the side waiting for him.

As far as Jim and I eating the forbidden casserole, were not sure. We have the bad habit of sharing our food with him. We were thinking of having a separate plate and fork for it, but I don't know if I trust myself. We'll see.

Dessert:

We are lucky enough to have a peanut and tree nut free bakery in my parents town, Carmine's Village Bakery. To be safe she ordered all the rolls, pies and cakes from there. So he will have some options. I'm not sure if anyone is bringing anything else. If so, we will just have to watch him like at any other party.

With all that in place I'm feeling good and grateful to have such a wonderful family. However not all families are so cooperative. If you fall in this category (I'm sorry if you do), make sure you have a plan. He are some thing to think about.

1. When you sit down and think about it, does the meal have to be completely allergen free? For us not completely but the majority does. For some with multiple allergies it can be a must. If so, you may want to host. If your family refuse to make any concessions regarding the meal you may want to say, "We would love to join you but it really is too dangerous for so and so." I know this is not what most people want to do and it sucks, but it may be the only way for people to take you seriously or to keep you little one safe.

2. If you can handle a few unsafe dishes consider a seating arrangement and serving your allergic family member first. Even make up the left over Tupperware ahead of time.

3. Make your allergic family member one of their favorite dishes. In time this will become a part of your usual holiday dinner. Make enough for everyone. This way your little one won't feel like they are the only one eating it. As a kid I hated everything. Our parents use to include a pan of baked ziti at every holiday. It has become a must have over the years, even though it wasn't a holiday staple. Even as adults my cousins and I love having it.

4. Bring all you own food for your little one. Ask you host what they are serving and make as close to an identical meal as possible. Make extra too so they have left overs when they get home that you can all eat together. It's seems like a lot of work, but if it make your little one feel include, I say it's worth it.

Well since it's out first FA Thanksgiving I don't have much more advise. If you have more advise to add please do. Sharing ideas and ways to keep out kiddos safe is very important.

I hope you all have a safe, fun and wonderful Thanksgiving. Oh and check out tomorrows Take Over Tuesday, with Tricia who will share her nut free recipe for a sweet potato pie!

Our Thanksgiving Plan

Dear Mr. Dumb Ass:

I woke up in a good mood this morning, and I had a really nice uplifting post ready for today. I really try to keep it positive since it's hard at times. Then I got into my car and turned on the radio. BIG mistake! Normally I avoid articles, interviews and the comments people post about them that talk food allergies. It is just so upsetting to me. I will sit and stew over it for days, having arguments in my head with strangers when I should be sleeping. It just isn't good for me.

Today on 101.9 rxp a famous dumb ass comedian went on a rant about his child's God given right to eat PB&J (not in a funny joke telling kind of manner). I was really surprised and disappointed they aired it. I get it, really. It is a staple food here in the US (even though it's not the healthiest choice). It's easy, cheap, and kids like it. As I've said before I don't always think a peanut free school, or table is the solution. In fact I don't have a solution but that's another topic. But really, if your child eats 21 meals a week (not including snacks), and they go to a peanut free school, that's 5 meals they can't eat peanut butter. So the other 16 meals in that week they can. Why are those 5 meals such a big issue if not eating the stuff will keep all kids safe. Seriously 5 meals and some snacks. No one is saying you can never have peanuts again, so stop acting like it's Prohibition on peanuts. You can still eat them, and buy them. Oh but I forgot your wants (not your kids even), are more import than a life.

He called FA parents hypochondriacs. Oh I'm sorry my son has a CONFIRMED life threatening allergy to peanuts and tree nuts. That's right it could kill him. He could eat something and suffocate to death if he doesn't get help right away. Help for him is jabbing a needle into his leg and holding it there for 10 seconds, just so he can have 20 minutes to get to the hospital in time for further treatment. Heck after your kid eats his God given right PB&J are you going to be there to make sure he washes his hands? Because if they don't, they may be putting other kids lives at risk. But I'm over reacting. What if it was your child who was at risk? I bet you'd be the first to ban whatever it is that is life threatening.

Last I checked all kids in this country have a right to a free education, and all kids have to right to be safe receiving that education. FYI parents don't make school policy, the schools do. They may have influence but in the end it's the districts decision. They do it for many reasons, one being keeping it safe for all. So stop blaming the kids and the parents for a choice they don't make. Some like me don't even want the ban because they don't want to deal with people like you!

Like I said it's not the kids that are the problem. It's the adults that think this is how it should be. I hear "what's a birthday without cupcakes in the classroom to celebrate?' It's still a birthday just choose a different special treat. Yes other food can be special. Are cupcakes the only way to celebrate a birthday? If they get a treat and don't have to do school work for a few minutes they are happy with whatever it is.

So Mr. Dumb Ass, please think before you open you mouth and spout you uneducated, ignorant opinions. You get to speak on a public platform, and have a wonderful opportunity that most people don't to reach millions of people. Do your research and know your facts before talking about policies and health.

OK rant over. I just need to get this one out. Sorry for the angry post. I guess it's just been building up.

Dear Mr. Dumb Ass:

Food Allergy Bully's

At least once a week I have the same nightmare that Cormac is on the school bus and another kid is chasing him with a PB&J sandwich. He's pinned in the corner with no way to escape, and no help because the bus driver doesn't see it or doesn't care. He's not even two yet and I'm having anxiety about this! On Monday night I had this dream again. I wake up the next day to two articles (one from CNN the other from MSMBC) about about food allergies and bullying.

It's been the talk of the allergy websites, blogs and online support groups, so I won't be surprised if you've read them. I actually posted the CNN article on our Facebook page as soon as I read it yesterday. We had some great sharing going on there. Since Mac is sick, this is the 1st chance I've had to sit down and write about it.

I was in tears off and on all day yesterday. I even called my husband crying because I couldn't believe how bad this really is. It has justified my dreaming fears, and brought them to life. I hate this! With everything these kids will have to go through, they have to fear that other kids will assault them with food! Not a gun or a knife, but with food. It's strange for me to say that food is a real weapon, but it is. What's worse is that there are teachers and school officials out there who tease these kids or don't take these threats seriously. I m not saying all teachers or even the majority are this ignorant. I know some amazing teachers out there who do every thing for their kids. They go above and beyond everyday.

My next question is why do these kids think this is ok? Are they learning this at home, at school or what? Why aren't the adults in their lives more aware, and educated? Little kids may not understand but the older ones know. There needs to be consequences for these acts no matter what the age. Of course they should be age appropriate. You're not going to arrest a 5 year old for assault. But a lesson needs to be learned. The question is how do you teach it and make it real to people who don't know or get it?

Like most food allergy advocates and parents say, we need to start with education. We need to stand up for our children and teach them how to stand up for themselves. We need to teach their peers about the seriousness of this, as well as educate the other parents, and teachers.

I feel really lucky that Cormac already has a group of friends who he will be going to school with, as well as other friends he may not share a school with but will share his life with. They will be growing up together with my son and his allergies. They will be educated and so will their parents. Their parents already take care to make sure he is safe. The more people in your community that understand, the safer our kids are. Don't pass up the opportunity to talk to people. Get involved with your child's school as much as possible. Most important be there for your kids. They may not always be able to handle this no matter how old they are.

Food Allergy Bully's

Take Over Tuesday: Meet Morgan Self Advocating on Food Allergies

Morgan's Mom Nicole commented on my post about peanut free schools. She has an amazing website Allergicchild.com

where I learned about her family's story. I asked her and her son if they would be guest bloggers. They both agreed! First up is Morgan. He an an amazing young man who is living life with food allergies.

Morgan is 14 years old and is in 9th grade in high school. He is anaphylactic to peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, fish and shellfish. He is severely allergic to dogs, cats and other furry animals. He gets eczema from food dyes and is allergic to grasses, weeds and trees. He is currently receiving allergy shots and is seeing a huge decrease in his seasonal and pet allergies!

When your done here, Check out Morgan's Corner on Allergicchild.com.

Self advocating on food allergies

My mom says that I started asking if a food had peanuts in it from the time I learned how to talk. I don’t remember that. I do remember wanting to learn how to spell peanuts so I could read labels and find the word. I remember my mom telling me that “Sooner or later, you're going to live alone and when you do, I'm not going to be with you. (Let's hope not at least.) Let's start now on working on how you can deal with food allergies by yourself.”

In preschool, my mom took care of everything. She made sure that no one brought in peanuts or nuts. And she made sure I had a safe snack to eat every day.

In kindergarten, I stayed all day at school, which means I ate lunch there too. That’s when food allergy signs started on the lunchroom table. My teacher and my mom talked to my class about food allergies and about not eating unsafe foods around me. Also, everyone had to bring in safe snacks for the snack bucket, but I still brought my own snacks. I knew what my food allergies were, and I knew not to eat foods other people tried to give me.

In 1^st grade, I learned more about self-advocating. I was at school one day and my class had to go to another classroom. I knew that I wasn’t supposed to go into other classrooms at school because pets could be there, or kids eating peanuts. My teacher felt that the other classroom was probably unsafe, pet or food wise. I had to stand out in the hallway for a few minutes, being left out of whatever went on in the classroom. I came home, crying, and told what happened to Mom. She suggested that I needed to talk with my teacher. I wrote up a letter of how I felt when the incident occurred. The next day, I came in to school and I read the letter out loud to my teacher. My Mom was there as parental support. It was just us three. Both the teacher and I cried at the end. She said she never wanted to hurt my feelings, and I wanted her to not leave me out in the hallway ever again.

I learned in 2^nd grade that I had to start to take care of myself, and that my mom wasn't going to be there all the time. One day in the lunchroom, no one sat by me at my peanut free table. I didn’t like that at all. I asked if I could get rid of the big sign that said, “Peanut Free Zone” and just be able to sit at the same place with no peanuts around me, but also no sign. We talked about this at my 504 meeting that year. By the way, I started to go to all my 504 meetings with the teachers and my parents from kindergarten on. I always was asked what was working and what wasn’t working. And what wasn’t working for me was to have a BIG sign that said “Peanut Free Zone.” So, we agreed to remove the sign, but that I would still sit right in front of the cafeteria monitor just to make sure no kids brought in my food allergens.

In 3rd grade, I started doing a PowerPoint presentation I created for the class. I continued doing this in 4th and in 5th grade. There were just a few slides. I talked about what my food allergies are, what the class can do to keep me safe (don’t bring in peanuts, nuts, sesame or fish) into the classroom, don’t sit by me at lunch if you’re eating those foods, and don’t get upset if I ask you to move if you are eating those things. It really helped.

In 4th grade, I got to go on field trips on my own. Before that, my Mom came on every field trip. I wanted to go on field trips without her. I carried my own EpiPen and other medicines in a fanny pack on the field trips. Everything worked out fine.

In 5^th grade, I started to carry my own EpiPen at school. The law in Colorado passed, and I could start doing this. There was still a medicine box in the office at school with my Benadryl and eye drops in it, and an extra EpiPen just in case.

In 6^th grade, I brought in all the Peanut/Nut Free Zone signs for my classrooms. I talked with the principal about the peanut free tables in the lunchroom. My Mom didn’t come into school at all for that. We (Mom and I) had a meeting with all my teachers at the start of the school year, and talked about no foods being in any of my classrooms.

In 7^th grade, the process happened again, but this time my classrooms were spread apart, unlike the Pods in 6^th grade (classes in one group/area). This year, there were more dances and parties, but food was no problem since I had already dealt with my teachers.

In 8^th grade, it was the same as 7^th, just my classes were a bit farther apart. Lunch was no problem in any of the middle school grades since I had made my friends aware of my food allergies.

The step from Middle School to High School was more of a leap than a step. At my high school, people can eat lunch anywhere on campus: hallways, courtyards, even classrooms. This created a problem for classes after lunch- thankfully only one class each day is after lunch. Even then, people can eat anytime and anyplace. This includes during class time and during free period. My choir teacher simply just said ‘No food allowed’. It has worked quite well and I haven’t had any problems. Other teachers have been sort of lenient on food, but the class that does allow food is a freshman class, so I have been with these friends for 3 or more years, and so they understand my food allergies.

9^th grade is a blast! I had met with my teachers in the spring time before school ended and before school started in the fall. Every one truly understood my hidden disability and is very helpful and supportive. I really feel the leap was much easier with all my teachers understanding!

Guest Blogger Disclaimer: The information shared by the guest blogger does not represent the opinions and policies of No Nuts For My Peanuts and it's creator. As always seek proper medical attention for any issues, medicine dosage's or questions you have regarding your health and allergies. Always read labels before eating or serving any food to anyone who has food allergies.

Take Over Tuesday: Meet Morgan Self Advocating on Food Allergies

Neighborhood Kids

I love my neighborhood! It's crawling with kids and friendly parents. Cormac is one of the youngest at 21 months old. The older kids love to come over and play with him. It's so cute. That's what happened this weekend. We were outside using the sidewalk chalk and some of the 4th grade girls came over to play with him. He had a ball!

A while back I had some t-shirts made that said No Nuts For My Peanut. We haven't used it much because I wasn't happy with how they came out. But that day he was wearing it. It got the other kids attention! They asked me questions and remember the rule about not sharing food with him. I was so happy! They even asked were his bracelet was since he wasn't wearing it.

Here is the shirt. This is back in May.

A little while later some more kids were out, and of course Mac had to be in the middle of it. They all read his shirt and commented. One of the younger kids came out with some food and wanted to share, but stopped when the other girls said she couldn't even before I could! She then saw his shirt and didn't understand why he couldn't have a doughnut since it wasn't a nut. So I explained and they all seems to get it. So like I said, I love my neighborhood!

You can make your own allergy shirts or just google it and a bunch will come up. One that I think I may be getting Mac is from a company called Alert Clothing Company. They have short and long sleeve T's, and sweatshirts with cute designs and great warnings. Mac is into dinosaurs so I think that one may be a good fit for him. I should of ordered it already as September is a crazy party month for us but as usual I thought of it too late.

Neighborhood Kids

Food Label Frustration

We have only been at this for about 5 months now. I've been feeling pretty confident that any food we give Cormac is safe. We read all labels now and double check ourselves often. We bring his food places just in case. Our friends and family are reading labels too. Over all I felt we were doing a great job.

Well I took things for granted. I thought that companies were required by law to label the top 8 allergens as well as the risk of cross contamination, (ie "shared equipment", "shared facility", "may contain".) WRONG! They are only required by law to label the top 8 allergens (milk, eggs, fish, Crustacean shell fish, tree nuts, wheat, peanuts, and soybeans).

All this time when I read packages without anything referring to the statements above, I thought the food was safe. For all we know it could be, but there is a big chance that's it's not. Maybe we've been lucky so far. I know a few FA mom who are diligent about contacting companies about the risk of cross contamination and share their findings. Most say e-mail works best as you can get it in writing.

In light of this I have been digging to find the exact laws concerning food labels. It's not hard to find, but in true government form it's not all easy to decipher. He are some helpful links I found. I asked some other FA moms for a reference with a simple explanation, and the 1st one listed is what they sent me.

Kids With Food Allergies

http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/resourcespre.php?id=50&title=FALCPA

FDA

http://www.fda.gov/food/labelingnutrition/default.htm

http://www.fda.gov/Food/FoodSafety/FoodAllergens/default.htm

I'm feeling pretty defeated this week. My lack of knowledge could have put my son's life at risk. That is not a good feeling. I know I shouldn't beat my self up over this, but I'm a mom and that's what we do when we think we aren't doing are very best. I feel so bad I didn't do all my research. Going forward you can bet that I will be contacting any company I feel is not including cross contamination warnings and becoming even more brand loyal to the ones that do.

Food Label Frustration

Peanut and tree nut free, is it pracitcal?

Over the past few months I keep reading and hearing about peanut free schools. I read a lot about people who think it's the worst thing in the world. It's something I think about often, as in just a few years my son will be in a classroom without one of us to make sure he is safe. Take the regular fears of a parent sending their child to school for the first time and multiply that by 100%. It's the stuff gut wrenching nightmares are made of. Mac isn't even in school yet and it keeps me awake at night. The school bus ride terrifies me most.

The thing that upsets me the most is people's ignorance of the actual issue. Actually it's not their ignorance, because it's just not part of everyday conversation. It's the lack of caring when they find out that certain foods can do serious harm or even kill a child. What's infuriating is that some people feel their right to eat peanuts and tree nuts trumps someones life. That is what scares me. It is my understanding that peanut and tree nut allergies are more likely to cause ananaphylaxis than other foods (not to say other foods don't or can't). It's not like you are outlawing nuts forever, just for a few hours. When you leave you can eat all the nuts you want.

Another one that bothers me is when someone says my child only eats peanut butter. I get so mad! Seriously only peanut butter? Unless your child eats peanut butter for breakfast, lunch, dinner and all snacks, than you are just being dramatic. And they say parents of kids with food allergies exaggerate. Ask any parent of food allergic children, and they can tell you a whole host of foods you can send your kid to school with. I think it's about the ease of PB&J. Trust me I get it. I wish that was an option when I'm running late and need to pack his food. We have to pack his food everywhere we go.

With that said, here is my take on peanut free schools. I think it's unrealistic. I may be the minority and you may be surprised considering my vent just now, but as of today I don't think it's necessary or doable at every level. As far as the older grades (middle school and high school), a child should be able to be his or her own advocate. It's the younger grades I worry about. I do think that the school and parents need to be sensitive to it. A school is a place where all the kids should be safe. They must be able to provide that as well as an education.

A peanut and tree nut free school is my dream but is it realistic? I honestly don't think it is. Do I have a solution to make it so? Not really, but I have ideas to make it safer. I think the lower grades especially kindergarten should have peanut free classrooms and restrictions on group snacks if there are kids who are allergic. Teachers and subsitues teachers should be educated on food allergies, how to read food lables, and how to spot if a child is introuble. I do think schools should not sell the offending food. I do think they need to work with the family's of the allergic kids to find the best possible solution.

I know many schools have peanut free tables, and in theory it's a great idea. However, I hate the thought of my son sitting at a peanut free table all by himself. I actually cry every time I think of that. Yes I want my son to be an individual. However to be singled out as different so blatantly, bothers me. Every kid is different and should be, but I want him to make his mark and stand out for what he does, not by what he can't do.

By school age I hope and pray that my son knows the rules of what he can and can't eat. Again I would love it if my son's school was peanut and tree nut free, but lets be practicle. The risk of cross contamination is going to be there whether there is PB&J or not. It may be a peanut free school, but are they going to check every kids lunch box everyday and read the ingredients on every snack? That's just impossible.

I know not all parents of food allergic children will agree here, so I apologize if this offends. I just don't think it's realistic to be a truly peanut and tree nut free school. There will always be parents who don't care and will send them to school with banned food. There will be parents who forget. There will parents who will try but just don't understand the risk of cross contamination. Plus kids will be kids. In the end I would rather my child be aware that the peanuts and tree nuts are out there, rather than have a false sense of security that he's safe because a school has a no nuts policy.

Cormac is not in school yet so I may change my mind on this. Who knows, maybe our school will have a great peanut/tree nut policy by the time he's ready to start. Or maybe someone with more experience will shed some light on this for me. I just don't think it's a s simple as a nut free policy when it comes to schools. Now if we are talking about a ban on air planes that's another story. There's no compromise there. No nuts ever in my opinion.

Peanut and tree nut free, is it pracitcal?

Lets Talk Positives!

Being a parent to a child with food allergies can be overwhelming and depressing sometimes. Your hear breaks when you think of all the simple food pleasures your kid is missing. Your heart stops when you think about what can really happen if you child eats the wrong thing.

Since I want to think of ways that having a food allergy can be a good thing, I asked the mommas in my online food allergy group to help me put a positive spin on it!

Most said that they've learned to be more creative in the kitchen and that cooking from scratch is healthier and cheaper. All agree that their entire family is eating healthier too. I couldn't agree more!

Here are three of mine:

*No fast food (except pizza that is). Yes fast food is so convenient but it is so bad for you. Living a life without it is a good thing!

* Our son is learning good eating habits right from the start.

* With all the label reading, we are seeing what is in our food. You'd be shocked at how bad most of it is for you. We are much more informed about of food choices. As my husband says, "It is creepy to see what's in our food."

Now here are what some other moms had to say!

*My kid is not That Kid, screaming and crying about the injustices of the world when I refuse to flag down the Ice Cream Man as he drives through our neighborhood. (In this house, that magical van is still known as The Music Truck....and it's a mystery as to why the kids go running towards it.....)" Sarah (Check out Sarah's blog for her full positive list Live, Laugh and Learn)

"My Daughter has learned already at age 4 to be a spokes person for herself and to be assertive and speak up." Jessica

"I've learned to be more assertive with our Dr. and family when it comes to advocating for our daughter."Tayna

"We are always prepared...since we have to pack enough food to sustain our son for an entire day when we go out, we never have a crying, miserable little guy...at least not because he is hungry or thirsty." Amy

"My Daughter watches me cook and prepare food all the time, so she's learning how to prepare healthy foods. As a 2-year old she knows a lot more about where foods come from than some adults! Laura

"All the info and recipes that are available online now. I can't imagine dealing with this 20 years ago." Katie

"Allergies are also teaching my son it is OK to be different. Some kids wear glasses. Some parents carry an Epi pen. Some kids eat a different snack. And he doesn't have to have a cookie just because someone else has one." anchoragite

" I've learned we don't need milk, eggs or meat to live happy, healthy lives." skh1123

"I learned that a food allergy doesn't mean that life has to be drastically different. My family is still plugging along just like it always has. I'm not spending hours a day in the kitchen. The kid is still a typical 11 month old tornado happily tearing apart my house." Marti

"I am also learning to be more aware of people with allergies and to the problems with eating out." B & The Boy

"I have to say between being Gestational Diabetic with all 3 kids and now dealing with FA it is amazing what difference fresh, from scratch, organic and all natural truly means vs the grab and go make kids happy foods advertised for kids. (Gogurt is not considered eating a fruit in our house)." fuzzychild

Just a quick list of positives to think about the next time you feel down. There were a lot more but than this post would be never ending. If you have some positives you want to add, write them in the comments for others to see. We need these to remember it's not all bad.

Lets Talk Positives!

Looking for a day of family fun?

Our Team No Nuts For My Peanut, is walking the in the FAAN Food Allergy Walk in Wstchester, and would love to see everyone come out and support us and others if your not walking already. There is a bunch of family fun, and food safe activities that will be happening during the walk. I received an e-mail from the organizers telling me what will be going on that day and wanted to share! If you don't live near the Westchester location, check out the FAAN Walk For Food Allergy locations for your area.

The First Annual Westchester FAAN Walk for Food Allergy is on Saturday, October 2nd. The Walk will take place at Glen Island Park in New Rochelle. Hundreds of residents are expected to walk with their families and friends. In addition, Congresswoman Nita Lowey and Dr. Amanda Cox, Pediatric allergist at Mount Sinai Hospital (who is also our Dr.) will be there!

Their will be entertainment, vendors and activities for the kids. The Z100 Party Patrol bus will be there to get things started! Following the walk, Suzi Shelton a rising star in the children's music scene, will be performing her catchy and upbeat folk/pop-rock music. Groove Performing Arts, a family favorite in Westchester County, will perform songs from it's award-winning music program for kids, Music for Aardvarks. In addition to the free concerts, enjoy a fun-filled day of activities such as arts & crafts, obstacle course, jumpy castles, gaga court, raffle and more.

Also the Melting Pot is hosting a FONDUE-Raiser, Tuesday, August 17th from 4:00-10:00 pm to benefit the FAAN Walk. A portion of the proceeds form each meal will be donated to FAAN. Melting Pot offers a gluten-free menu and can accommodate most food allergies. Please contact Melting Pot in White Plains at 914 933-6358 to make a reservation.

Even though we live over the bridge in Rockland County, Westchester is just minutes away. We hope to see you, whether you are walking or just come out for the fun! If you see me come say hi. I would love to meet you!

Looking for a day of family fun?

We Finally Ordered His Medical Alert Bracelet

After struggling with whether or not to get the Medic Alert bracelet, I finally ordered it today. I don't know why, but I kept putting it off. We have gotten many opinions about this from people saying "well he's always with you why get it", to "you must have one". The reality is Cormac is not always with us. He's with people we trust when not with us, but it's not the same as mom and dad . I think part of me felt that getting one made it official. That sounds crazy I know. You would think when Cormac had that horrible reaction to peanut butter, or when we got the test results, or going to the Jaffe Center, I would feel the "officialness" of it all. Don't get me wrong I did every time. But, picking up that phone, signing him up, and picking out his bracelets (yes I ordered two), made me so sad today. I know it's the right thing and can only help keep him safe.

I said we ordered two bracelets. I know, I know he only needs one. I just couldn't pick one. I have a strong feeling that Mac is not going to be happy about wearing it and will loose it. So I got two different ones. I ordered a more updated sports band and the traditional chain with the the logo in red.

OK so why medic alert you may ask when there are so may different and cuter kinds out there? Well I chose Medic Alert because emergency personal have access to his Emergency Medical Information Records or EMIR. They can contact us or our other emergency contacts in case we are not with him, or if in an accident and non responsive. We actually have 5 people listed as emergency contacts! It is also a universally known symbol. We do pay a discounted yearly fee of $15.00 because he is in the Kid Smart Membership. His membership came with a free bracelet and an emergence contact card which includs his Dr's contact info as well. I also like that they inscribe it with his allergies. We had Anaphylaxis peanuts, tree nuts. Treat with Benadryl or Epipen Jr. inscribed on his.

If you don't want to use Medic Alert, there are many others to choose from, but they don't have the EMIR service. You can google medical alert jewelry and a bunch will show up in your search results. Some of the ones I've seen are quite fashionable and cute. What you get all depends on what you need.

I'll post photos when they come in and we'll see if Mac will wear it.

We Finally Ordered His Medical Alert Bracelet

Takeover Tuesday Guest Blogger Jessica: It's A Good Thing I Hate Jelly!

Hi everyone! My name is Jessica and I'm the wife of an awesome man and mommy of an energetic little boy. I work full time, chase my toddler when I get home, and blog http://caterpillarfamily.blogspot.com after he goes to bed- I'm busy! I was born with a congenital heart defect and have had a total of three open heart surgeries. I was also diagnosed with an allergy to peanuts and bananas at the age of one. Despite all of that, I have had a totally normal and largely unaffected life, I swear! I try to find the humor in everyday situations and that keeps me sane. I have a great family and more than I could have ever asked for. I'm a lucky girl!

It's A Good Thing I hate Jelly!

As someone who has had a severe peanut allergy all my life, I could tell you a thing or two on the subject. One of the silliest things I’ve ever heard (and I heard this over and over again as a child) “Oh my! How horrible! What do you feed her?”. Really people? You take away peanuts and your cookbook is empty? Apparently I lucked out and got the creative mom, because I never felt deprived. Instead of PB&J sandwiches I got grilled cheese or turkey- problem solved!

As soon as I could read I was a label reader. I knew to ask if there were peanuts in foods if my mom wasn’t there to ask for me. I didn’t know any different and it was never a big deal to me. I was also fortunate in that I was still able to eat other nuts, such as almonds and pecans. It’s hard to miss peanut butter when you have Nutella! For those who don’t know what Nutella is, it’s a delicious spread made from hazelnuts and cocoa. Allergic to tree nuts all together? Try Sunbutter! Sunbutter is actually a personal favorite of mine, made from ground sunflower seeds. I prefer it to almond butter any day. The brand I buy is organic and processed in a peanut-free facility so no worries there. It’s also almost the exact consistency of peanut butter, so it can be used as a substitute in recipes.

Check out: www.sunbutter.com for several safe food products!

The two biggest dangers to those who suffer from severe food allergies are:

1. Foods at parties. the worst offender for me was always cookies. I almost never eat cookies unless I make them myself. Believe it or not, I’ve actually had people think that the cookies they made were ‘OK’ because they used peanut butter, not whole peanuts. I’m not joking. It’s best to avoid unless they are prepared by someone familiar with your allergy. Occasionally I’ll take a gamble on sugar cookies (as long as they are on their own plate). Most chocolate looking cookies are risky... and I can spot the tell-tale double fork pressed top of a peanut butter cookie from a mile away. Even a “safe” cookie is off limits if it’s touching one of those.

2. Coming into close contact with people who have just eaten peanuts. I always tell a particular story (…or is it my husband, who thinks it’s hilarious?) of one unfortunate night early in our marriage. My husband loves peanut butter. We’re a match made in Epi-Pen heaven. He knows he’s not allowed to kiss me for several hours and at least one tooth brush after eating it. Anyway, so we’re sitting on the couch one night playing war.. you know.. that card game. He had just eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We’re playing, it’s a long game, cards are exchanged back and forth, the next thing I know my eye is swollen shut. Yep. Apparently some trace amount of peanut butter on his hand was transferred to me by the cards and then I proceeded to touch my eye. A few gulps of liquid Benadryl and one night’s sleep later I was totally fine, but it was definitely a wake-up call.

That brings me to the golden rule of food allergies- ALWAYS have liquid Benadryl on hand. Regular children’s Benadryl is fine for all ages. In the event that you or your child ingest something that causes a mild to moderate reaction, nothing coats the mouth/throat and stops it like liquid Benadryl. Of course, if the reaction is immediately life-threatening use of an Epi-Pen may be necessary.

Remember that food allergies, like anything in life, are what you make them. It’s not about deprivation, rather substitution. Nowadays peanut allergies are much more common. You may find that obtaining a peanut-free life is much easier than you imagined!

Guest Blogger Disclaimer: The information shared by the guest blogger does not represent the opinions and policies of No Nuts For My Peanuts and it's creator. As always seek proper medical attention for any issues, medicine dosage's or questions you have regarding your health and allergies. Always read labels before eating or serving any food to anyone who has food allergies.

Takeover Tuesday Guest Blogger Jessica: It's A Good Thing I Hate Jelly!