More than I can chew...

Today's post isn't focused on food allergies. It's more of a mom/parent purging for me. I'm just trying to figure some things out. Like most moms (and dad's, or guardian's),  I have become completely overwhelmed by daily life. There really aren't enough waking hours to get it all done. I use to be a very organized person, and on time for everything. Add kids to the mix and it's all out the window!

I have friends who became more organized when they had kids. Both my working mom friends, and stay at home mom friends, seem to have it all together. They enjoy their kids (not that I don't enjoy mine, I just think they don't enjoy stressed out mom right now). I know I don't see into their homes at the crazy moments,  I know they are not perfect, but they seem more calm about it all.  Do they dread the production it takes just to get everyone into the car to go out? For me that's a food allergy related anxiety. Do I have enough food, will he get upset this time? We all talk about how hard it is, to be a parent and find balance as an individual, a wife and friend.

Last night as I was working on some of the details for the baby's 1st birthday party (can you believe he's going to be one next month), I was thinking, that this last year has been crazy! My hubby got promoted, two weeks later I had a second child, one week later a hurricane hit and his paternity leave got screwed up. Then my oldest who has the peanut & tree nut allergy, started his first year of preschool (where we have to volunteer). I went back to work part time, started a portrait photography business, and recently signed an agreement to do some stock photography. Let us not forget, this blog and another blog for a local support group I co-founded.

So that's one husband, 2 kids, 3 blogs, 1 website, a part time job, a new business and a support group. Oh and hubby's schedule is so erratic! We honestly can't plan anything, baby sitters or weekend trips till 2 days before the week starts! It's driving our friends and family crazy along with me. I hate saying, "I won't know till.." every time we are asked to do something.  I honestly think, people think we don't want to see them. It's the total opposite! I miss everyone terribly.

I think I had posted on Facebook, that I sent my oldest to a play date with a snack that wasn't 100% safe! Thank goodness for a great friend and mom,  who checked my snack anyway.  Where is my head that I can do something like that? How do I get organized with all this? What kind of balance can I achieve to be happy? Is it time to give something up? Do I give this up?

I think we can all agree I'm not the best blogger on the block. In fact, I suck at staying current and relevant. I don't post as often as I would like. BUT I really don't want to give this up. I love interacting with the FA community. Making someone feel that they are not alone, and that there is someone who understands. You all have helped me so may times I can't count. When I feel like others are looking at me like I'm nuts, I can come here or on my Facebook page and know you don't think I am!

I think this is all coming out as a result of two in a half weeks of nothing but bad. Between hubby's job, and the kids getting coxsakie/hand foot and mouth, it's all come to a head. I'm an anxious person to begin with, but my levels are pretty high right now.  I don't want to give up any of it. I finally found my way back to photography (heck it's what I have my masters in), and it has been my main focus, but so many other things are suffering because of it. Even though I'm focused on it, I need to dedicate more time to it.  But where's the time?

I guess it's time to take a serious look at all, that is my life. I don't want to be a quitter, I want to do it all! You know super mom who just isn't a mom lol. I know my hubby is worried about me, and that we "need to talk". Don't you hate that phrase? I probably will never figure it out, but I'm going to try. Any advise or ideas how to get it together are welcome!

Thanks for once again listening to me ramble!

More than I can chew...

Thank You Cake Break!

We've been back a week now from our wonderful family vacation in Lewes, DE. It was such an amazing experience going away as a family of 4 for the first time. We decided a while ago that in order for us to go away we need to rent a space that had a kitchen. Not just to save money, but to save our sanity and keep stress at a minimum. Feeding your food allergic child while on vacation is a challenge, especially if you eat out for every meal. I would be exhausted by day 2, and DONE by day 3. The stress would ruin it.

With that said, we rented a house on the beach, and only ate out twice. If you find yourself in Lewse DE, these 2 establishments: Mr. P's and Jerry's Seafood, were so nice and accommodating, plus the food was great.  However the day we went into Rehoboth we faced our big first food challenge while on vacation.

 ©Diane French Photography                    

We had planed to spend the afternoon at the boardwalk and eat there. The first thing we noticed was that many of the concessions and restaurants cook their food with peanut oil. It was clearly stated on their signs as an advertisement. For us it was a waring and blessing. Even the one pizza place we went into used peanut oil. Now I'm sure there are many safe place to eat in Rehoboth that don't use peanut oil, as we didn't go into every establishment (there are a ton of places to eat there).  By the 4th or 5th one we tried without success, we were done.

Disappointed, we headed back to Lewes to eat as my son was starving. We found Mr. P's and all was good again. But it got me thinking, what if we had only rented a hotel room in Rehoboth like most families do? We would of been so stressed.

We got back to the house, and I posted on facebook about how bummed I was for my little man. Then, just like that, one you you replied (I won't post your name in case you don't want it here), to my post that there was a nut free bakery in Rehoboth! I looked them up and called the next morning. It was true, Cake Break in Rehoboth was peanut and tree nut free. They also had gluten free items as well.

It sounds crazy but I got a little emotional at the news. See we had already told our son we couldn't go to the ice cream place, that he couldn't eat the pop corn, or the fudge he saw others eating on the boardwalk. Pretty heart breaking for us. But as usual he was OK and would say, "I'll have some back at our beach house mommy".

Two day's later it was my husbands birthday. I had planned on baking cupcakes at the house, but now I didn't have to! We told our son about the bakery, and he was super excited to pick out a special birthday cupcake for his dad. So instead of lunch that day, we had cupcakes, sticky buns and cinnamon rolls. Delicious doesn't even begin to describe it. Needless to say he was a happy boy.

All photographs ©Diane French Photography

This pace was awesome. They even had a cupcake decorating area for the kids, some stools and chairs inside as well as out. When I asked the owner why a nut free bakery he had the best answer. He told me the day they opened there was  little boy screaming and crying because he couldn't go in and have a cupcake. That's all it took. Amazing right?

All photographs ©Diane French Photography 

So if you find yourself in the Rehoboth, DE area with a nut, peanut, or gluten, allergy, eat vegan, or just like sweets. Check out Cake Break! You won't be disappointed and you will be giving your business to people who care. They made our vacation that much better! And for a mom with a child with a life threatening food allergy that is a big deal.

Like the photos you see? Check out my photo blog and website at www.dianefrenchphoto.com

Thank You Cake Break!

Year Two of Living with Food Allergies.

I'm reflecting on another year gone by living with food allergies. On April 22 it will be 2 years of anxiety, fears and firsts. We learned a lot this last year. We have amazing family, friends and teachers who really look out for our little man. Even some of the parents at his school go out of their way to include him. For most, his allergy has become 2nd nature to them. We have had no new incidents involving his allergies, and he has outgrown most of his nut allergies. I believe we will be doing a food challenge with cashews this year. Lucky doesn't even describe how I feel. To read our story how we found out about our son's peanut allergy check out this post from last year.

As he is now 3, he is starting to understand more. He reminds us when dropping him at school that we need to check the snack. He asks if he can have whatever it is. When we tell him no, it's never been a problem. Even when it's cupcakes that the teacher didn't know were coming to class. I'm so proud of him. He never complains about being left out, or eating something different. Sometimes he even asks us if we have his epi pen when leaving the house.

It's hard to tell a 3 year old about the severity of his peanut allergy without terrifying him. I want him to have a healthy fear, but not traumatize him. So far so good. I think we are on the right track. Here are some of the things we do to remind and teach him.

1. When we go to a party or play date, we talk about it in the car. I ask him questions like what if your friend wants to share his or her food? The answer, "say no thanks", and "ask mom or dad". We remind him don't take food from anyone but (we name the people who can give him food).

2. He doesn't were his medic alert bracelet all the time because it bothers him (it scratches him pretty badly no matter what I do to it). However he will wear it when we go to public evens and places, to a new play date or when their is a sub at school. As he gets older he will wear it more since we won't be with him as much. He knows it tells others about his allergies.

3. We have been teaching him what say say if he gets lost. He knows his full name, allergies, phone number, name of the town we live in, mom and dad's full names, our jobs and his grandparents name. If you ask him his name, he tells you than says, "I'm allergic to peanuts and nuts"! Pretty good for a 3 year old! It's my new parlor trick to show people:)

4. When we are shopping we make a effort to point out peanuts and tree nuts, the different products (especially candy), that they are in, and how they look different.

All this seems to be paying off and getting through to him and some of his little friends. Again, I am reminded that even thought the fear and anxiety we have has parents is stressful and exhausting, we are lucky that's it's not something worse. He is a happy, healthy, funny, smart, adorable little boy, who brings us so much joy. He may drive me crazy on a daily basis, but he also amazes me daily with his ability to learn and accept his small burden at such a young age.

We are two years into this, and it does get easier. Remember to be open minded when others are not, educated others but not preach, work with schools, parents and organizations to help advocate for your child as well as others. You will be surprised how many doors open, and events pop up just because you talked about it in a positive way.

FYI the NY Mets contacted me again about a peanut free suite for a weekend game in May. I'll get the info to you this week! It all started with a simple email! You can make a difference!

Year Two of Living with Food Allergies.

What is a Peanut Free School?

So far so good. Mac has been in school for a month now and everything is going great. I check the snack every time before class, and he comes with me to "help". Now he even asks if it has peanuts in it as I read the ingredients. If it's not safe I tell him, and he's ok with having his own special snack. We've had one party and he had his own cupcake. Again he was fine with it. The funny thing is, the other kids want what he's having. The teacher is doing a great job teaching the kids not to share or take each others food. I love that she is turning his allergy into a teaching opportunity. That's a good teacher.

So what is a Peanut free school I ask? His school is peanut free, yet we've had to say no to a number of snacks. Mostly cookies. They get snacks that are processed on the same equipment or facility as peanuts or tree nuts. To me that's not peanut free, but to them it is.

I'm not asking them to change their policy, but did ask about it. The answer I got bothers me. I was told that it's just a disclaimer and that if they had to find snacks that didn't have this warning, the kids wouldn't have anything to eat. Um so why is there a huge bag of snacks for my kid in his classroom? There are tons of things for him to eat that are safe.

While it's true some companies put it on their products as a disclaimer, others don't. Again I'm not asking for a change. I just think they need to revise their peanut free statement. It creates a false sense of security. I know every parent has to make the choice of what is safe and not safe for their food allergic child. In our family shared equipment or facilities are not acceptable. He is still too young for us to take that chance especially when not with us. For other families theses things are ok. I'm not judging at all. It's each families choice.

Next month there are 7 birthdays in his class. I'm going to bake a batch of cupcakes and freeze them. This way I'm prepared!

What is a Peanut Free School?

New Addition!

So yes I've been totally neglecting my blog. I do apologize, but I have a good reason. As mentioned in past posts, I was preggers. In my last month I was not a happy camper. Being pregnant in August is no fun especially when you have a crazy toddler running wild! So I decided to spare you all complaining I would have done if I actually sat down to write.

Well after a quick and crazy labor of only 2 hours and 45 minutes from start to finish, Cormac became a big brother last month to baby Kieran! He is doing well with him. Not so much with mom and dad. He's decided to stop listening for the most part. Most of it is the fun terrible 2's and 3's, but some has to do with baby brother. So we are adjusting as best we can. We've gotten a lot of help from my mom. Thank God for Grandma's!

Big brother starts preschool next week! I can't believe it. We are really lucky that his teacher totally gets the food allergy world. Her teenage daughter actually has food allergies so she knows what to do in an emergency, and knows what is at stake (I wonder if she babysits). That makes me feel so much better. The school itself is great about it too. They have gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable with sending him there. They also don't make me feel like a crazy over protective parent.

We have a food plan set up and I am happy with it. When we drop him off we have to approve the snack before we leave. If it's a no, she will give him a safe snack that I supplied already that she will keep in her closet. They are also going to let me keep 2 cupcakes in the freezer for the unexpected birthday. Otherwise I will get notice of parties and such. Two parents have already asked me about his allergies with concern for him. That was very nice too.

Fingers crossed things go well next week and the rest of the year. Diving into the school thing for the 1st time for an allergy parent is scary, but we have to do it at some point. I'm just glad we have an understanding teacher and director to work with.

New Addition!

Summertime Blues:(

My apologies for not keeping up with my blog. For some reason June is always a crazy month for me. Not one of my favorites. This year I have a touch of the summer time blues. While most people are excited to get out and about, I just want to hide. The good news is, I'm coming out of it!

So some might ask, "How can you be down in the beginning of the summer"? Well for me it's the overwhelming thoughts of all food challenges that summer brings. Add 7.5 month pregnant hormones, potty training, the terrible 2's, the heat, and there you have it folks. A very cranky momma.

What set me off this year is the Ice Cream Man. As a kid, I loved this summertime tradition. He rarely came down my block so it was extra special when he did. Where we live now he comes almost every night at dinnertime. That annoying song that loops over and over drive me nuts! He always stops right in front of out house without fail. Not just for a minute but for 5 to 10 minutes. Sometimes another one comes a bit later.

We've tried to tell the little man that's it's the music truck, but he doesn't buy it. He sees what all the kids are eating. It just makes me so sad every time he sees the kids and their ice cream, and he can't have any. I keep some safe popsicles in the freezer, but that will only last so long. I know there has to be something he sells that is safe for him like a fruit bar or something. I just haven't figured it out yet. I'm not sure how receptive the Ice Cream Man will be to me standing there reading labels for a while without buying anything until I can double check with the company. I know there is a solution to this, I just have to get on it.

Parties and BB Q's are the another summertime downer for me. What once was a fun time, has turned into anxiety from hell. Gone are the days where I can sit and enjoy the party and watch my kid from a distance. Now I have to hoover. FYI helicopter parent is not my thing.

In addition, now that Mac understands that his food is different, it's so hard. He really wants what everyone else is having. He gets mad and upset when we tell him no, but just doesn't understand why. We've been talking to him about peanut and tree nuts and how they will make him sick. He repeats it all the time but doesn't quite get it yet. Again another thing that breaks my heart.

I hate having to pack a days worth of meals every time we go on an outing. Lugging it around and then he won't eat it! It's worse then when he was a baby and we had to bring baby food and bottles. I guess the good part is we don't spend the money and eat healthier right?

Well enough with the pity party for me. There are so many worse things out there to be down about. It really is time to stop feeling down. I have a happy and health child and am grateful for that. As I said I'm coming out if it. I'm keeping busy trying to start a new photography business (shameless plug I know, I'm on Facebook too), chasing a 2.5 year old asking if he needs to go pee every ten minutes, getting ready for the new baby, as well as trying to get the Food Allergy Families of Rockland support group growing. I need a drink! I can't wait till I can have a margarita on the rocks with no salt! August is seems so far with a caving like that.

Ok I'm done feeling sorry for myself!

Summertime Blues:(

A Year Gone By

Today is an anniversary for our family. It's not one we remember fondly, but it makes us thankful that we made it though without any major incidents (well since the first one that is). A year ago today our family entered the oh so fun world of severe food allergies.

This last week I've been really thinking about how our lives have changed. How my parenting style has changed. Our lives are more stressful, and I've become that helicopter mom at parties (not how I envisioned myself at all). In fact I dread parties now. I have bad dreams about him riding the bus and bullies. I also have arguments with strangers in my head when thinking about the future and the situations we may encounter. I've always been outraged about intolerance, but now it makes me weep when I know my child is the target.

However that is not all. I've become more tolerant and educated. I've come to appreciate our family and friends even more than before. Without their love, support, and acceptance of our situation, things would be much harder. I cry when someone goes out of their way to make my son feel safe and included. I've connected with other parents through this blog to get support and hopefully to give it. I've also met another local mom who is working with me as a co founder for a community support group Food Allergies Families of Rockland. So it's not all bad.

I don't think I even told you our story of how this all began. Since today is our anniversary, it's time I shared it with you. Let me start with that there was no family history with nut or peanut allergies that we knew of. Neither my husband nor myself have any food allergies. We were not told to wait till he was 2 years old since there was no history. When Cormac was about 14-15 months old we decided to try peanut butter. I waited until we had some Benedryl in the house just in case. It was a first time mom thing. I really didn't think he had allergies. I first tested it on his skin, again no real reason just did it that way. No reaction. So he had his first PB&J. Still no reaction. So I'm thinking we're all good. That year at Easter he had some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and other chocolate candies. Again no reaction. Two more PB&J's later and all was still good.

So that's at least 4 times the kid had peanut butter without a reaction. Well #5 was the winner. A very good friend came over for a play date which we planned on having lunch. While I was getting our food ready she asked if Cormac could have a peanut butter cracker. I said yes, so she made him and her son some. When I come out of the kitchen she says I think his eyes look funny. I thought, oh he's just tired since it was very close to nap time. Within five minutes we knew it wasn't that he was tired. His eyes were swelling and swelling fast!

She said I think it's the peanut butter. I still was not convinced because he had had it at least 4 times already, and he hadn't even eaten any of it this time. Well we figured out he rubbed his eyes with his peanut butter coated hands.

Now we're getting really scared. His eyes were now swelled closed and the size of golf balls, and he was getting a bit lethargic. I gave him some Benedryl, started a bath and, called the Dr., as well as my husband who was luckily down at the library in town. The Dr was out so I called the emergency number. He called back fast, told me to give him more Benedryl and if his breathing started to get bad go to the ER. Luckily that didn't happen. The Benedryl seemed to calm things down pretty quickly.

Photo 1. taken 20 minutes after exposure. Photo's 2. and 3. taken 3 hours after exposure.

He was now able to open his eyes, but when he did I was totally freaked out! The whites of his eyes had swollen so much that they were starting to cover his iris's! They looked like someone put a ton of clear jelly like stuff in them.

He was no longer lethargic but was crying in pain. This however didn't last long thank God. The Dr called back to check on him 20 minutes after our first call. We updated him that Cormac seems to be improving. He again said to watch his breathing and call 911 if any hives appeared, his breathing changed, passed out, or started vomiting. None of that happened so we stayed home. It took over 24 hours for the swelling to go completely down.

I think back now and think why didn't I go to the hospital? Part of it was I didn't know what was happening. It didn't make any sense to me. Cormac was able to communicate to me the same as if he were ok. I had an experienced mom with me and then my husband who both kept me calm. At no point did I feel his life was in danger, but that was my inexperience with food allergies talking.

That's our story. I can't imagine what would of happened if he actually ate the peanut butter that day. Instead of his eyes swelling it could have been his throat, mouth or tongue which would have been much more serious. After seeing a pediatric allergist twice now, and living with this for a year, we have learned so much. The one thing that scares me the most is that his next reaction could be much worse. But if and when it happens you can bet we will be calling 911. When they say knowledge is power, it's true. The more you know about food allergies the better you can keep your kids safe.

Do I wish he didn't have food allergies? You bet! But when I think about all the other illness's or disabilities he could have, I am grateful that this is just it.

A Year Gone By

Girl Scout Cookies!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Girl Scout cookies! In fact I've already polished off two box's of Somoas alone, and have threatened the hubby to not touch what's left. As usual, I first checked the label and didn't see any warning on the ones we bought for peanuts or tree nuts. The Somoas do however say, "Contains, wheat, milk and soy". I figured that since they are only made once a year, it would be vague, or full of cross contamination warnings. Very doubtful, I went on their web site to find out about their allergen labeling policies.

According to the Girl Scout web site, the cookies are made by two different bakers, Little Brownie Bakers and ABC Smart Cookies. I bet you can imagine how excited I was that both companies do more than the minimum when it comes to their allergy warnings! Both state they practice in cautionary labeling for cross contamination. Even better was the information was easy to find in the FAQ section.

If only all companies would be as responsible with their labeling. I don't think they understand how loyal food allergy sufferers can be when they find an company that is responsible.

I am truly excited that my little man will get to eat one of my most favorite treats (if I share that is). It makes me proud that when I was a little girl I was in such a considerate and wonderful organization. Thank you Girl Scouts!

Girl Scout Cookies!

What not to eat?

So now that our big news is out, I can share my struggles about food. When your pregnant the doctors give you a list of no no foods. No sushi, no alcohol, no caffeine, no cold cuts... the list goes on. This off limits list does not take into consideration that we already have a child with food allergies.

My first instinct was to avoid all his allergens while pregnant with number two. It makes sense. I am not exaggerating when I say I ate peanut butter 5 or more days a week for all 9 months of my pregnancy with Cormac. I also turned to almonds and walnuts for a quick, easy, and healthy snack. Low and behold, a child with severe peanut and tree nut allergies. I have beating myself up over this since we found out.

The minute we decided to have another baby I stared researching what to do this time. Every doctor (about 5 so far), say not to totally avoid these foods. Same with what I've read. Ok, now what I asked myself. There is no conclusive evidence as to whether to avoid or include these foods in my diet, just opinion. I hate that there are no clear cut answers when it comes to food allergies.

So like with the regular list of no's, my hubby and I decided moderation is key. Obviously I'm not going to eat these things around my son or even bring it into my house. So work is were I sample the forbidden. Is this the right coarse of action? I really don't know.

The good thing is I can bring almonds and walnuts back into the house. We received the good news that we can go ahead and include these nuts in his diet. So no guilt in eating those. In fact I had a yummy almond butter and jelly sandwich today.

Even though this is my second pregnancy, and I'm much more relaxed about it, I now have a whole new set of fears I didn't have with the first. I really don't know if I'm doing the right thing, and that is stressing me out.

What not to eat?

Even at my son's own party?

I was going to wait until later in the week to post about this, but why wait. Today we went to the New Jersey Children's Museum for the first time. Cormac had a great time. It had a ton of stuff to tire him out and give us some laughs. If your looking for something affordable to do on a cold winter day, this is the place.

My problem with this museum isn't about the the facilities , activities or anything like that, it's about what happen when I inquired about birthday parties. When were there, there were a few parties starting. I thought what a great idea. Cormac 's b-day is in December, and for years to come I'm going to have to come up with some location b-days. Our house is just too small for all his little friends already.

So of course my first question was about the food. I started by saying my son has food allergies so we would like to bring our own food. I also stated there will more than just him that has food allergies. She said we can accommodate you no problem. You can bring him (just him), his own food and the rest of the party has to eat what they supply. I said no it's his b-day party. I'm not going to make him something different than everyone else. This is not school, it's HIS party and he will not be left out. She said no you can't bring food for everyone. What the hell. I can't have a party for my own kid that has all safe food! She didn't even give me a reason why. Tell me why and maybe I'd understand.

I said what about a cake. He can't have yours and she said oh desserts are OK. So at least part of the party can be safe. So I asked what foods they serve and she said pizza. OK usually a safe food. I asked where do you get it from so I can talk to them and make sure it's safe? She wouldn't tell me. She said the pizza is peanut free, they use vegetable oil. Um really? In my quest to find safe places to eat for Cormac, vegetable oil has never been a answer in any pizza place so far. It's always olive oil. So that makes me question her info. It could be true but it's weird to me. I said what about tree nuts? Her response was, I'm sure it's tree nut free too. I can ask if you want.

No I don't want you to ask, I want to ask myself! I don't know you, and frankly your lack of understanding and unwillingness to talk about it doesn't make me trust you. No I didn't say that, but wish I did. Seriously why can't I talk to the place? You are charging $299.00 for a party. You can at least let me find out if the food is safe. I don't care how much you are overcharging me as long as I am 100% sure my son and his other allergic buddies are safe.

Anytime we go to a party at a kids place, we call and ask about the food. Not once have they denied me the information of where it comes from. Every place we have called have been super helpful and informative. Why wouldn't they be? Having an ambulance come to your place of business can't be a good thing.

So looks like a party here is out of the question, but for something to do we will probably go back. Like I said the museum itself is great and the staff (besides the party planner), were nice. Too bad though. It looked like the kids at the parties were having a great time.

Even at my son's own party?

Quick Update

Things here have been quiet on the allergy front. We have so many school parties I was getting stressed out, but all the moms have been so great about it. I wish all his school years can go as well.

The bad dreams are starting up again and I'm not happy about that at all! It really sucks. I can go a while and not get upset, and then one damn dream gets me all anxious again. We have such great friends and family who are on board so why do I get this way? Motherhood I guess.

I think the big trigger is that we are heading back to the allergist on Monday. Cormac will be getting more blood work and skin tests done. I'm not looking forward to it. I really don't think much has changed in 6 months, but I will try and stay positive. I just feel bad for him and all the needles.

I'll be sure to give you the details when we get back.

Quick Update

I can't believe it's 2011!

Boy how time flies. I really can't believe it's 2011. I think about how long I've know some of my friends and it's been more than half my life! It feels like just yesterday I met some of them. I feel old! But that's ok, because when I sit down and think about it, I've accomplished so much. At a glance it doesn't always feel like it in my everyday life, but when you get down to the details it's pretty fun to see what I've done. I think more people need to look at you life details and you will surprise yourself.

I've definitely grown as a person. I'd like to think I'm as still as open minded as I was when I was an idealistic teen. But the reality is life and motherhood changes that as you get older. When you become a mother, you world view changes a bit. You see more of the bad than you saw when you didn't have those worries. Add food allergies to the list and you start seeing how some people are down right mean, selfish, and ignorant.

I don't always deal well with those people. I'm still struggling with my own anxieties and fears when It comes to Cormacs allergies. Reading negative comments and articles all over the web still gets me upset. So even though I'm not one for New Years Resolutions I decided to work on some things in 2011 that I hope will stay with me for the years to come.

1. Stop reading comments made after food allergy articles and negative blogs about it. I need my sleep, and fighting with these people in my head isn't worth it!

2. Take a step back a remember that people who don't live with food allergies on a daily basis don't deserve my anger when they don't get it. I can't expect the world to understand.

3. Thank and tell people who make and effort how much it means to us that they are trying even if they don't get it right. This will encourage them to keep trying, give us an opportunity to educate, and eventually hope that our patience will pay off in the end when they do get it right.

I make sure to tell the moms in our Mommy & Me class how much it means to me that they ask questions and bring in safe snacks for the whole class. It's paying off! At the holiday party a mom made cookies and asked me a ton of questions before hand. The party came and she was worried about the frosting she used and made him a plain cookie. It meant so much that instead of taking the chance she though about it. She thought about my son in the middle of all the holiday fuss. That's a big deal to me, and it was important to me that she knew that.

So even though our children's food allergies are a very serious thing, I think we need to give others ( the people who are trying that is), a bit of a learning curve. People will forget or make a mistake but you can't expect everyone to be as on top of it as you are. Never compromise you child's safety of coarse, but remember how confusing and overwhelming it was and is for you. For others it may be just as scary. Good intentions won't keep your child safe, but it's a start to educating others on how to keep your kiddo happy and healthy.

I don't know about you but I am so happy the holiday's are over! Cheers to a healthy and happy 2011. Happy New Year everyone!

I can't believe it's 2011!

I have a button!

I have a button! Ok it's my first attempt at making one, and trying to figure out the code. It will need some tweaking, but for now I'm pretty please with myself! So what do you guys really think?

Feel free to gab it and add it your site or blog! Let me know if you do add it to your page. It's amazing what you can get done during nap time!

Oh and I want to share my new favorite photo of my guy!

I have a button!

Yikes!

I'd have to say my house is pretty baby proofed. We have locks on the cabinets and draws, gates on the stairs, the TV even has a "cage" around it. When we found out Mac had food allergies, we cleaned out the kitchen and check all his skin products. Well as any parent finds out, as they get bigger you need adjust your baby proofing. Overall I feel we do a bang up job.

Well, I had a YIKES moment this week! We have some draws in the bathroom that Mac likes to play in. I "thought" I had all safe things in there for him to play with. So I'm in the shower, and as usual, I hear him playing the the draws. I do my usual peak around the curtain to see what he's doing. Nothing to worry about, we do this every day.

WRONG! When I get out, I see that he is holding something I don't recognize. Turns out I had a all natural skin product in that draw that shouldn't be there let alone in the house any more. The 1st ingredient was almond oil! All I could think was, what if he got it open while I was in the shower? He could had ananaphylaxic reaction, and I wouldn't of even known!

So my lesson for today is no matter how baby proofed you think your house is, there is always something lurking somewhere. Check all your products twice and adjust your baby proofing as they grow. Remember no matter how safe you think they are, there is always some kind of danger.

Yikes!

Food Allergies and Day Care? Help!

Looks like my work situation is changing, so that means so is my child care situation. I want to start off by saying I have nothing against Day Care. Every family has different needs. In fact I've been looking for two 1/2 day programs for Cormac. He needs more stimulation and educational interaction. However, I've been unsuccessful since he misses the age cut off by 5 days! It's very frustrating.

A few months ago (pre peanut/tree nut allergy), I had done some Day Care scouting as I needed to increase my work hours. I did find one that I liked, but it wouldn't work financially. Day Care in the NY Metro Area is pricey. I was able to find a friend that offered to watch him for the increased hours. I LOVE her and she's great with him. She has a little girl Cormac's age. They are like 2 peas in a pod! When he was diagnosed with his peanut and tree nut allergy she was amazing, and still is. So obviously my problem is not with her. The other days I work, he with with his dad or grandma. Again not a problem.

So what is the problem? Well work has requested that I return full time. That mean 2.5 more days of child care that I need to find. I have to admit I am freaking out! I know emotionally he will be fine and probably love it. I don't trust many people with him now that he has allergies, and I don't want to give up my time with him. I have to say I've been very lucky thus far balancing family and work. I also understand where my company is coming from. They have been very generous and understanding with me. I really did have the best of both words.

Here lies the big problem: Will he be safe at a Day Care? I know food allergies are more prevalent these days. Day Cares must have experience with this, but I 'm terrified to let a group of people take care of him. What it there is a substitute who isn't aware of his allergies? What if the teacher forgets? What about accidental cross contamination? I work somewhat far from home, what if I can't get there in time? It's hard enough for us to make sure he's safe, and we are his parents. Cormac is our world, and our lives have changed accordingly. But can a Day Care really keep him safe?

I know I have more research an interviewing to do. I would love to know how other parents of food allergic kids handle this situation. If you have and suggestions or advise please let me know! I really need some guidance here.

Food Allergies and Day Care? Help!